[The feeling of dread starts building the moment Cisco gets him sitting down - the fact he wants him sitting, close but not holding his hand, only serves to heighten the feeling. His breathing is already a little short by the time Cisco says 'yeah, about that' - a phrase that has never preceded something good.
Eddie listens quietly and slowly the dread gives way to horror and shock. Eddie isn't looking at Cisco when he finishes speaking, he's staring straight ahead, his lips parted, and he realizes he's taking short, hitched, too-fast breaths.
The singularity had been his fault. The singularity that had destroyed a large part of the city, had killed people, had killed Ronnie, whose wedding to Caitlin he'd attended hours before his death, who Cisco had loved like family. His breath speeds up a little more, and he pulls away from Cisco, not wanting to touch him despite all the excuses Cisco had just made on his behalf.
Eddie had killed those people, destroyed part of the city, killed Ronnie only a few hours after his wedding, while trying to be a damn hero. His breath catches in his throat with a strangled little hiccup noise and he stands abruptly, steps away from the bed, starts pacing aimlessly with both hands up and twined into his hair, pulling hard.
Waste of a life, waste of a man.
Somehow he'd managed to be even worse an influence on the timeline, on the people in his life and the lives of people he cares about, than Eobard had said, and it's his own damn fault. His breath hitches again and he realizes his eyes are stinging and his chest is aching and his throat is closed off so he can't apologize to Cisco the way he wants to. Can't babble apologies and beg for some way to get redemption and communicate how much he hates himself right now.]
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Eddie listens quietly and slowly the dread gives way to horror and shock. Eddie isn't looking at Cisco when he finishes speaking, he's staring straight ahead, his lips parted, and he realizes he's taking short, hitched, too-fast breaths.
The singularity had been his fault. The singularity that had destroyed a large part of the city, had killed people, had killed Ronnie, whose wedding to Caitlin he'd attended hours before his death, who Cisco had loved like family. His breath speeds up a little more, and he pulls away from Cisco, not wanting to touch him despite all the excuses Cisco had just made on his behalf.
Eddie had killed those people, destroyed part of the city, killed Ronnie only a few hours after his wedding, while trying to be a damn hero. His breath catches in his throat with a strangled little hiccup noise and he stands abruptly, steps away from the bed, starts pacing aimlessly with both hands up and twined into his hair, pulling hard.
Waste of a life, waste of a man.
Somehow he'd managed to be even worse an influence on the timeline, on the people in his life and the lives of people he cares about, than Eobard had said, and it's his own damn fault. His breath hitches again and he realizes his eyes are stinging and his chest is aching and his throat is closed off so he can't apologize to Cisco the way he wants to. Can't babble apologies and beg for some way to get redemption and communicate how much he hates himself right now.]