causational: (full of regret)
Eddie Thawne ([personal profile] causational) wrote in [personal profile] franciscoramon 2016-05-01 06:46 pm (UTC)

[As much as Cisco might not think logic would work, it does have a surprisingly strong impact on Eddie. Empathetic and emotional as he is, he's a logical person. He understands cause and effect, action and consequence, and when Cisco explains things the way he does, it makes sense. Especially when he equates it to his own life, what he knows about his own family tree.

It makes sense, and it alleviates some of Eddie's fears. His body relaxes a little as he rests against Cisco, lets his strong hands rub firm gentle circles against his back. He accepts the comfort for a few moments, and listens. When Cisco starts equating it to things that Barry or Harrison or Cisco himself could have done to stop Eobard, he starts shaking his head a little, breath catching in his throat, because that's not how it is in his head. It's not the reasoning he was following.]


No, no. [He lifts his head so he can look at Cisco, jaw a little tight against the embarrassment of knowing his eyes are red-rimmed and stinging, even if he hasn't cried. But he wants to be looking Cisco in the face when he says it.]

I know that I didn't do anything to make him the way he is, and there's nothing...absolutely nothing, that you or Barry or Harrison did wrong to make him the way he is. No one could have changed that. [He swallows hard, and he can't hold eye contact, not while saying the next part.]

What is my fault is that he exists in the first place. He came from me, my bloodline. I'm not naive enough to think there's some evil lurking in my genetics or anything, but if I hadn't done what people do...if I hadn't fallen in love, had a family...he wouldn't exist. Me, doing those things, that's why he had a chance to become what he became for whatever reason he did. If I'd just...if I hadn't been so selfish, insisting on...

[He shakes his head, swallows hard past a dry lump in his throat.]

That's why I was the only one who deserved to die to take him out of the timeline. Not Ronnie, not any of the other people who were hurt or killed by the singularity. Just me. It should only, ever, have been me.

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