[Sometimes it catches him off-guard when Cisco stays still and listens to him and the expression on his face clearly communicates that he's taking it in, that he's processing it, that he's taking time with Eddie's words and thoughts, his feelings, and for a moment, his heart and his belly tense up because it's so strange to be heard like this. No one has ever really taken time to hear him, to put this much thought into what he's saying and unravel it for him because they want to make him feel better.

His throat is tight and for a few moments, after Cisco finishes speaking, he can't talk. Instead, he just leans his head forward and presses it against Cisco's forehead, breathes carefully, a ragged and trembling thing.]

I guess I just... [He holds his breath for a second, because speaking is hard, physically and mentally. It's hard to come out and say the things he has in his mind because they always sound so stupid out loud.] ...I thought that doing what I did would fix it. That it would be a sacrifice that was worth it and realizing what happened afterward, I thought...maybe it wasn't. Because I just hurt more people.

[His hands come up to cup Cisco's face between them, and he swallows hard, past a lump in his throat.] I saved you, though. [It's breathed out, almost a whisper.] And you make me so happy.

[Another shaky exhalation, and he brushes his thumbs against Cisco's cheekbones, hands still on either side of his face.] Why are you so good to me?