[ Cisco had been afraid Harry's answer would be whenever you're ready or any minute now or worst of all, the sooner the better. Tomorrow morning feels like a momentary reprieve. They have hours and hours; Cisco doesn't have to lose him just yet. Not quite yet.
Perhaps the smart thing would be to say okay, pick a time to meet tomorrow, and bid Harry goodnight. Slink off to his empty apartment and try to manage the pain in peace. Maybe that's what Harry wants. But if he has some chance for a proper goodbye, he's not going to give it up so easily. ]
We, um.
[ His voice is too small, too thin. Cisco stops, clears his throat. There is a mechanical deliberateness to the way he makes himself put his hands in his pockets, makes himself lift his bowed head, makes himself meet Harry's eyes, makes himself smile. He might be showing all his teeth, but there's no mistaking it for happiness. Cisco smiles, and it is even more wretched than when he hadn't. It's a laugh-so-you-don't-cry smile. It's a making-the-best-of-it smile.
Strange, how literal the word heartbreak can be. How it physically hurts in his chest as he draws in a breath and says: ]
We better make tonight count then, right?
[ It's an offer - one that Harry can take, or he can leave. Cisco can feel himself shaking a little, but he knows he can do it. He can get through it without breaking down. Give Harry something to remember him by. ]
no subject
Perhaps the smart thing would be to say okay, pick a time to meet tomorrow, and bid Harry goodnight. Slink off to his empty apartment and try to manage the pain in peace. Maybe that's what Harry wants. But if he has some chance for a proper goodbye, he's not going to give it up so easily. ]
We, um.
[ His voice is too small, too thin. Cisco stops, clears his throat. There is a mechanical deliberateness to the way he makes himself put his hands in his pockets, makes himself lift his bowed head, makes himself meet Harry's eyes, makes himself smile. He might be showing all his teeth, but there's no mistaking it for happiness. Cisco smiles, and it is even more wretched than when he hadn't. It's a laugh-so-you-don't-cry smile. It's a making-the-best-of-it smile.
Strange, how literal the word heartbreak can be. How it physically hurts in his chest as he draws in a breath and says: ]
We better make tonight count then, right?
[ It's an offer - one that Harry can take, or he can leave. Cisco can feel himself shaking a little, but he knows he can do it. He can get through it without breaking down. Give Harry something to remember him by. ]