[ He really doesn't. If anything, Harrison should probably be apologizing to him for putting him through the emotional wringer. But he's not one for apologies — at least, not unless they're absolutely necessary.
When Cisco pulls back, he keeps a hand on his shoulder, frowning slightly as Cisco wipes at his eyes. He reaches in with his own sleeve to wipe away anything else from Cisco's eyes, murmuring. ]
Look at you. You're a mess . . .
[ There's nothing accusatory in that statement, though. If anything, it's as close as he'll come to an apology, mild concern showing through in his eyes, in his voice. Of course Cisco had tried to be strong and held all of it in until he was gone. Of course he'd hole himself up in his apartment, so he could be miserable by himself. Harrison rubs at his shoulder with a thumb, then gives him a light push to turn him around, in the direction of his bedroom, and kicks the door shut behind him with his foot. ]
When did you last sleep? Don't answer that, I don't want to know. [ Another nudge at that. ] Bed. C'mon.
[ In any other situation, Cisco would probably object to being told that he looks like a mess. But today, he doesn't have a lot of fight in him, and he's sure that it's not just Harry antagonizing him for fun, the way he does sometimes. He feels like a mess. Cisco can feel that he is at that state of exhaustion where he doesn't even feel tired, consciously, but every movement takes extra effort, and every decision is agonizing.
So it's nice, having Harry turning him around by the shoulders and marching him back to his bedroom. It removes the necessity of needing to make that one decision for himself, for th[ ]e time being. He tries to hold back a yawn as they make their way down the hall. ]
I'm perfectly capable of pulling an all-nighter and functioning just fine...
[ Which he realizes a moment too late is actually answering the question Harry had said he didn't want answered. Oops. Oh well. He flops onto his messy bed, dragging the duvet over himself and saying: ]
Don't let me sleep too long.
[ At that point, the shock of Harry's return has sunk in enough for Cisco to think logistics. He'd already gotten rid of the other apartment, hadn't he? Or at least, put in mention the gears to do so, which could not be halted easily, without a lot of fuss and explanation. Hopefully, he asks: ]
[ Harrison rolls his eyes at that response. He already knew Cisco hadn't gotten any sleep, so it wasn't really a surprise. Hearing that was similar to getting a shock of static electricity after shuffling across a heavy carpet: shocking, but not completely shocking. He gives Cisco a push on his lower back as he flops, "helping" him get to his bed sooner, and then steps over to the window and draws the blinds. ]
You'll survive. [ A beat. ] Since when have you ever had a normal sleep schedule, anyway?
[ He lets out a snort, straightening a few things up here and there — throwing a pillow back onto the bed (underhanded, so it gracefully lands on top of Cisco), snatching up the coffee mug he'd left on the bedside table this morning (which, in hindsight, seems needlessly cruel, and he's quick to set it outside the door to throw in the dishwasher later), and scooping up a few articles of clothing and tossing them to the side in a pile. At that last question, he glances back over, raising an eyebrow. ]
I don't have anywhere else to go now, do I?
[ Which isn't entirely true. Now that Wally is aware of everything, Joe might be more amenable to letting him crash on his couch for a bit, at least until he worked out something else with an apartment. Snow had a basement. And when in doubt, he could always set himself back up in S.T.A.R. Labs and pull out a cot again. But none of those places really had a "home"-y feel to them. Granted, Cisco's apartment didn't either and in his opinion, it needed a fair amount of fixing up (he distinctly recalls it being cleaner before). But it could be.
Harrison pauses, then sits down on the edge of the bed, reaching over to pull the pillow off of Cisco and set it back at the head of the bed, before quietly clasping his hands in his lap. He doesn't have to sit there and stare at him until he sleeps, he knows — Cisco isn't him and he'll drift off soon enough. But he does feel responsible on some level. It's a powerful thing. ]
[ Cisco watches with only one eye cracked open as Harry goes back and forth, picking up things that aren't in anyone's way, throwing pillows on him, and futzing in general. He also thinks of the lab, of Joe's big, beautiful, comfortable house. Of a few other places all of which seem more convenient or luxurious than his messy apartment. But Harry says he is going to stay here, and Cisco can't help it: he smiles. ]
Good.
[ That smile only gets wider when Harry perches on the bed near him, quietly keeping him company. Any other day he might tease him for just sitting there watching him (and maybe he'll do it later, when he wakes up), but for now, Cisco is too too grateful for his presence to complain. Cisco keeps one hand tucked under his cheek, but he lets the other one come to rest near to Harry on the bed. Not touching him, but close enough that he could, if he just reached out his fingers. ]
You're really one to talk about- [ He is interrupted by a huge yawn ] -sleep schedules.
That's why I know you'll survive if you sleep for awhile.
[ Not one to back down from a challenge, Harrison slides his hand over to Cisco's, putting it over his. After a few minutes pass, he gives it a brief squeeze and stands, walking out of the room and closing the door quietly, and then shuffles off to put the dishes in the dishwasher. With any luck, Cisco would sleep until around dinnertime — hopefully anyway. Which raises the question of dinner. Under any other circumstance, Harrison would be quick to order takeout for the two of them and let that be that. But deep down inside, he still feels some amount of guilt over the last 24 hours. He'd have to make it up to Snow and Allen in some other way, but for Cisco . . .
Harrison opens up his fridge and immediately makes a face. It had been filled the last time they were there but then again, Jesse had done most of the shopping as the two of them wanted her to feel comfortable. Now— he wasn't even going to contemplate what he could possibly do with the current contents. With a sigh, he snatches Cisco's keys up from the counter and heads out to the van, pulling his baseball cap out of his backpack. An hour and one grocery run later, Harrison heads back into Cisco's place with his bags as well as a few bags of groceries. He sets his backpack and dufflebag near the master bedroom, to the side of the door, and then starts to put a few of the items away while setting some others to the side.
His eyes briefly flick over to his bags — namely, the dufflebag, the one he'd had shoved unceremoniously into his arms before he was brought back over. He hadn't really had the chance to go through it and take a look at the contents. Cisco would still be out for a bit; he could easily take his bags to the guest room and unpack there until they figured out a better arrangement, see for himself what Jesse had told Garrick to grab. But today had been exhausting enough already.
He shakes his head, turning back to the ingredients on the counter and starts working on a pasta — chopping up some tomatoes and onions, boiling the noodles, fixing up some ground beef to mix in. At one point, he stops eying the clock and mentally calculating how many hours Cisco has been out, focusing instead on stirring the sauce while the oven heats up, garlic bread slowly starting to brown. It had been awhile since he'd had the chance to cook — really, since he'd felt like cooking. There was something invigorating about it all. ]
[ When Cisco wakes up, it is disorienting at first. The details of the last few days take a moment or two to arrange themselves in his memory. Zoom, dead. Harry, leaving. Harry, coming back again. He sits up, rubs at his eyes, sees the bags sitting there in the hallway. Those must be Harry's things. At first Cisco thinks he may have gone, maybe to see Barry or Caitlin, when he hears the sound of the oven opening and closing.
Not gone, after all.
Cisco wanders out from the bedroom quietly, still groggy from his nap as he comes to join Harry in the kitchen. He stands out of the way, shoulder braced against the fridge, watching Harry going to and fro as he cooks. ]
That smells so amazing.
[ He feels like there are a lot of things the two of them ought to say. About the future. About things between them. But that all seems really heavy right now. So instead, Cisco simply offers: ]
Need help?
[ Cisco thinks that he could set the table, at the very least. Or... unearth the table from underneath the books and schematics and stray tools (he'd been sitting there all night working on Harry's watch) and then set it. ]
[ He stops stirring the sauce momentarily to glance over at Cisco, giving him a quick onceover. The nap seems to have been good enough — neither of them had ever really slept all that much anyway, so he wasn't too concerned one way or another. His eyes flick back over to the table, currently hosting half of Cisco's workbench, apparently. He'd been waiting for him to come in and clear it out because if he did it, the results would likely be . . . well. Messy. And mostly on the floor. Harrison nods over at it. ]
Yeah. You got a table there, Ramon?
[ Which is his way of asking him to clear it off, please and thank you.
In the meantime, Harrison pulls the bread out of the oven, then mixes the sauce in with the angel hair noodles. He pulls a noodle off the spoon and pops it in his mouth quickly — good enough. He didn't know that many recipes off the top of his head but there were a few that he'd learned to get down relatively pat over the years, and this was one of them. Satisfied, he scoops it onto two different plates, then quickly slices up the garlic bread. ]
[ There is a time for thorough and proper cleaning - Cisco knows that. His place might be messier than Harry likes, but he can keep it tidy enough when he wants to. It's just that he doesn't often want to, or have the time for it. And right now doesn't seem like the right time to carefully organize and put away every sheet of paper, every tool. So instead he stacks it all (neatly enough) and carries it off into the spare bedroom, to deal with later, sometime when Harry isn't holding delicious food that he would very much like to eat.
Then it's just a simple matter of setting out utensils and napkins and the rest. As he's pouring the water, Cisco has one moment of rather dizzying perspective. It's all just so... normal. Sitting down for a quiet dinner, with someone he cares about who is telling him they got groceries. So domestic and average. But it isn't. Not really. Because it's Harry and he hadn't just gotten groceries, he had crossed over from a parallel world and only a day ago the two of them had helped to stop a superpowered psychopath from destroying the multiverse, and it's so strange how the two can coexist at the very same time. ]
Thanks.
[ Even though he knows he doesn't have to make excuses, Cisco raises his eyebrows at Harry and says, drily: ]
Haven't had a lot of time to cook these last few weeks.
[ It really was a sprint to the finishing line, dealing with Zoom. Cisco's barely seen the inside of his apartment, since he re-opened the breach and all hell broke loose. Which makes it all the nicer to sit down to a home cooked meal and just... relax. Or try to. There's a small part of Cisco's mind that is still in crisis mode, still waiting for a call from Joe or Barry, something that'll require them to rush to the lab right away and leave that lovely-smelling garlic bread behind. ]
[ Harrison snorts at that, bringing the plates over to the table. He wasn't too bothered by the clutter — which, in his opinion, was a nice way of putting it. At worst, he was slightly annoyed by it, which therefore made it a fairly safe topic to rib him about. It used to be no holds bar between the two of them when they bickered with one another, from music choices to style to— anything, really. As the months passed and they grew fonder of one another, they seemed to scale back on that. It was like there was an unspoken agreement between the two of them that certain things were off limits and if they accidentally tred on a landmine, well. Back off or else.
Which isn't to say Harrison's been perfect with that. His outburst a few weeks ago about how easily Cisco had caved to Allen seemed to cross some sort of line between the two of them, but he'd been too angry to accept it then and then, too busy recovering and planning to stop and think. ]
Imagine that.
[ He sits down and waits for Cisco to do the same, quiet. He'd had to keep busy today, or he would have driven himself mad. Internally, his mind is racing now — where's Jesse right now, what's she doing, is she okay, is she eating, is she by herself — a constant, muted stream of worry. It'll get better tomorrow. And moreso the next day, and the following day, and the one after that, he knows.
At least it's better than the massive question mark she'd been in his mind only a few months ago. ]
[ Cisco joins Harry at the table, smiles at him, briefly but brightly, before he digs in. It all tastes wonderful - simple but good, and the fact that Harry had made it for the two of them certainly doesn't hurt. For a little while the two of them eat in silence, and Cisco tries to adjust to the fact that this could happen every day. Well, maybe not every day. Knowing the two of them they'll get caught up in work soon enough. There will probably be metahuman attacks a crises to deal with, reasons for both of them to stay at S.T.A.R. Labs and settle for take-out.
Thinking about S.T.A.R. Labs raises another question in his mind - one that he mulls over for a few minutes before he asks: ]
So... what are we going to say to Barry and Caitlin and everybody, about you living here?
[ It's as neutral a way as he can think of, to ask the question that he really means: are we going to tell them about us? ]
[ It doesn't take a genius to know what Cisco's getting at by asking that question. Harrison leans back a bit as he considers it, chewing on a piece of bread idly. He'd wanted it kept quiet before because it was less complicated that way. They already had enough on their plates with Zoom and he didn't want to deal with any other drama on top of that. Because for as much as he knows Allen and Snow and even Joe, who'd caught on, Harrison has no idea how they'll even begin to react.
Telling Jesse was an extremely easy decision for him, in part because he had an idea of how she'd react to it and more importantly, how she'd react if he didn't tell her the first chance he got. She'd raised an eyebrow, punched his shoulder lightly, and then told him to never tell her anything ever about it again oh my god, Dad. But she'd said all of that with a mischievious look on her face, like she was more of a co-conspirator than anything else. It helped that she knew little to nothing about Eobard Thawne and his history with everyone at S.T.A.R. Labs.
Harrison swallows and then reaches up to wipe at his mouth with his napkin. ]
The truth.
[ He's not thrilled about it, and that shows on his face. But he's also pragmatic at times, and this is one of those times. Harrison glances over at Cisco and shrugs. ]
[ Cisco's not stupid, either. He knows that, if their friends react badly to the news that they are together, any outrage and anger will be directed at Harry, and not himself, no matter how much he insists it was his idea in the first place, that he practically bullied Harry into it. They know Cisco better than Harry, trust him more - even after everything Harry has done.
Besides, he knows it's easy for them to think of him as less capable and less mature than he is. That in some ways it's easy for them to see him as a victim, because they'd seen him like that in the past. They might not know everything that had gone on between him and Eobard (something he's profoundly grateful for), but they knew enough. They'd seen him at his lowest points - Harry never had. Just anticipating that concern, the hushed voices, rankles him, makes his pride sting.
But Harry has a point. They will figure it out sooner or later. The fact that they haven't yet is a small miracle - considering how many risks they have taken, how many times they've ended up tangled together kissing breathlessly in the workshop or med bay or an empty office. ]
Maybe it'll be good for them. Give 'em something to get their mind off...
[ He trails off and shrugs, but Harry will know what he means, he's sure. Get Barry's mind off his father being brutally murdered right in front of him. Get Caitlin's mind off being kidnapped and terrorized by a madman. ]
[ He heaves a sigh, looking— not so much annoyed or agitated, but resigned in a way. ]
I'm not— okay with it. But it's what we should do.
[ There's a pause as he considers that, then gestures vaguely with one hand. ]
I'm a private person, alright?
[ He's not trying to hide anything. It's not that he really cares too much about their reactions either, or the potential outrage that could come his way. It's more how they'll react, digging into his life and picking at the personal details, at the finer points. Those were his; his life wasn't some showcase for everyone to offer commentary on. He'd never talked about his wife before. It was like pulling teeth for them to get him to say anything about Jesse before she'd been rescued (though that was in part because it was all still raw, still painful). Harrison could say a million and one things about his opinions on his extended family, but he didn't. That wasn't up for discussion or on display for the world to see. He kept it close to his chest; the same goes for any relationship. It's theirs. ]
. . . maybe.
[ He leans back, trying to gauge Cisco's reaction to it all. ]
[ Cisco can recognize it by now: the difference between Harry going silent because he is dismissive of a topic, and Harry going silent because he is having some degree of trouble expressing himself, putting the words together in the order that he needs. So when he hears one of those kinds of pauses, he looks up, chewing away at the garlic bread while he waits for Harry to find his way.
And when Harry says he's a private person, Cisco merely smiles softly, just a hint of wryness in his voice as he adds: ]
I've noticed.
[ There is still so much he doesn't know about Harry's past. It was partly Harry's refusal to be open about his life that had lead Cisco to mistrust him so profoundly, when they had first met. Well, it had been a combination of Harry being unwilling to relinquish any details about his life while simultaneously dragging several of Cisco's secrets into the light. ]
We've got that in common.
[ Privacy, Cisco knows, looks different on him. He is a little more selective about what he decides to keep private, and about how he does so. Harry goes the full avoidance route, whereas Cisco is more likely to deflect, to distract and misdirect with humor. He goes overboard on things that he doesn't mind sharing, so he gives the impression of saying anything that comes into his head and holding nothing back. But he does. Harry still knows very little about his family; Barry and Caitlin know nothing about him and Eobard. He kept his powers hidden until Harry came along with that watch... ]
So what're you thinkin' - facebook announcement? Sky writing? Mass text? How we gonna do this?
[ Obviously none of those are real suggestions, but the question of how they should go about telling their friends is one that they ought to discuss. ]
[ The corner of Harrison's mouth twitches briefly into a half-smile when Cisco remarks that they have that in common. That's how it always is with them, or how it seems, anyway — they have more in common than they can even imagine, but in different enough ways that it's not entirely the same. It's nice, in a way. Despite how they came together and Cisco's early concerns, Harrison's never felt pressured or pushed to an uncomfortable degree.
He quickly follows that up by rolling his eyes before considering. Being forward with them was probably for the best, but it seemed ridiculous to make some big deal about it, like a formal announcement. After a moment or two, he shrugs again. ]
We could stop being discreet. And if they ask, we can confirm it. Let them put two and two together.
[ It's not that forward, but it's not dragging their personal lives out for all to see either. Besides— ]
[ Cisco thinks about that. His own instincts initially tell him that there's something vaguely underhanded about that strategy. Somehow it feels like setting up a trap for Barry or Caitlin to walk into: agreeing on this in advance and then trying to orchestrate and manage them in some way.
But... maybe Harry's right. It wouldn't be like that, exactly. It would just be... undoing the dishonesty that they've gotten so used to. Letting the truth come out gradually, rather than making some kind of awkward, grandiose announcement. His only concern is that they will both be so used to hiding that it will be hard for them to stop. ]
I guess that could work.
[ He pulls off another chunk of the garlic bread, wanting something to do with his hands as he asks: ]
And are we gonna have some kind of strategy in mind for, um. If they don't take it so well?
[ Cisco doesn't actually think either Caitlin or Barry will make that much fuss, but... he can't be sure. Since his father was killed, Barry had been volatile, less a person and more a walking talking white-hot ball of rage. That anger won't have just vanished with Zoom: that's not how it works, and Cisco knows that. And Caitlin, after her own romantic choices had crashed and burned so disastrously: what if she worries? What if she cries? ]
[ Harrison visibly pauses at Cisco's question, glancing up and over at him at that. "If they don't take it so well" — if they object. If they question it, just like he did when Cisco first brought up the whole idea of the two of them making a go at it. It wouldn't be out of the question for Allen or Snow and, frankly, they'd have a point. Even if Cisco is an adult capable of making his own decisions, it seems like there's always a big Harrison Wells-shaped blind spot that can cloud his judgment. He's not that Wells (thank god), he knows, but all the same.
After a moment, he turns his attention back to his pasta. ]
No. If it happens, we'll deal with it.
[ They can't make contingency plans for everything. But more importantly, after the exhausting events of the past two days, he can't even fathom dealing with something like that. It seems so . . . petty in comparison to everything else. His reaction would likely be him rolling his eyes at the other person and telling them to grow up. Not exactly something he wants to straight up tell Cisco, but. ]
[ Cisco just nods; Harry's answer was hardly what could be called a plan, but Cisco didn't expect him to have one, or even be willing to come up with one. He just... wanted to voice his concern that it might happen. Wanted Harry to consider the possibility in advance, if he hadn't already. Hopefully, it won't be an issue. Hopefully, they'll be happy for him.
And he thinks, as he lapses into a companionable silence, eating the food that Harry has made him, they should be less likely to object, after Harry came back from Earth-2 for him. Of course, Cisco knows that wasn't entirely for him. This world is Harry's home, now. But it had at least partly been for him, and that demonstration of Harry's affections means more than a million words of justification and explanation ever could. ]
After we're done with dishes, I'll clear out a couple drawers, make some space for your stuff.
[ And the thought of that - of needing to make space in his apartment for Harry, of having him here, has Cisco beaming again. The choices he has then are to say something phenomenally, unforgivably cheesy, or to crack a joke. Predictably, he goes for the latter ]
[ Harrison sits back and smiles just a little bit to himself, softly. Between the bright look on Cisco's face — a stark contrast to what it had been less than a day earlier — and the thought of actually settling in somewhere, of having a home, he's starting to feel— content. Jesse had thought that he looked happy on this Earth. Maybe that was true, but he wondered, idly, if he ever really could be happy again after everything that had happened. This was the closest he'd ever felt to it in a long time.
He lets out a snort at the remark about his cooking a moment later, eying him lazily across the table, over his empty plate. ]
Nice try.
[ He crosses his arms at that. Harrison didn't want to outright say the meal was partially an apology, but the implication should be heavy nonetheless. He cocks his head to one side at him, as if challenging him. ]
Unless you're going to pitch in.
[ With a smirk, he stands, starting to collect the empty plates. ]
[ Since when has Cisco ever been able to resist a challenge from Harry? The answer is, of course: never. He knows there is a chance that Harry is just trying to get him to agree to cook for them sometime, but he doesn't care. The bait is too tempting not to rise to it, and besides. Cooking for Harry out of a pugnacious determination to prove himself is just as much fun as cooking for him because he likes him, likes doing nice things for him occasionally (very occasionally). ]
Okay, I'm a totally average cook. Look, I'm not about to win Chopped or anything but contrary to popular opinion, when our lives aren't totally under siege, I don't usually live on takeout alone.
[ He is touching on something he doesn't quite know how to talk about just yet - what it's going to be like, now that Zoom is gone. Cisco has no idea how hectic things may be. For all he knows, another supervillain may show up in a day. Or maybe things will be back to what he thinks of as normal - or some approximation of it - with Barry running around dealing with lesser criminals and metahumans, and him and Caitlin and Harry helping out, but without all the long nights and stress and terror Zoom had brought with him. Or maybe it will be like after the singularity: Barry might need a break, a few months of quiet, a tranquil sort of holding pattern.
If the last option is true, he is glad Harry will be here, to keep him entertained through it. To keep him company. The last time had been pretty damned lonely. ]
[ Harrison rolls his eyes at that, starting to scrub at the plates in the sink and then putting them away in the dishwasher. And isn't that a novel thing, he considers idly as he does so. Even when they'd moved in to their own place, he and Jesse hadn't really had time to buy any of the essentials, so they mostly lived off of paper plates and disposable utensils. He'd grumbled earlier while digging through Cisco's cabinets as he wondered what he did or didn't own but really, he was in no place to judge when most of what he'd had on this Earth should have been tossed out five uses ago.
(That, and Cisco was fairly well prepared when it came to pots, pans, and other kitchen utensils, but details.)
The corners of his mouth twitch a bit, despite his best efforts to suppress a smile. ]
Yeah? I'll believe it when I see it.
[ Once he's finished loading most of the dishes in, he dries his hands off, eyes straying towards his bags, which are still sitting in the hallway. The dufflebag . . . he still doesn't have the willpower to deal with that tonight. Maybe not tomorrow either. Harrison wouldn't be too surprised if a week passed and it was still exactly the way it had been when it was shoved into his arms. His backpack was much less of a surprise at least, even with the gifts Cisco had planted in there.
Which reminds him. ]
You got a laptop around here somewhere?
[ It's Cisco, so it goes without saying, but he's too tired to go digging around the apartment for a computer when he can have Cisco point him in the right direction. ]
[ Oh, it's on. He is going to cook for Harry and it is going to be something fancy and he is not going to burn any part of it and they'll see who is smiling, then. When Harry moves out of the kitchen, Cisco takes that as his cue to swoop in and finish with the rest, pushing up his sleeves. The question about the laptop isn't that surprising - Harry didn't exactly show up with a whole ton of stuff. Cisco nods towards the low table in the living room, which has one of his laptops sitting on it. He doesn't even bother to ask why Harry wants it, just turns and starts washing the last few pots and pans.
But his curiosity gradually increases, and before long he's peering over his shoulder at Harry with interest. The angle is not right for him to see what Harry is doing. He could just ask now, but that would be far too easy. So instead Cisco finishes the scrubbing and rinsing and the rest of it as quickly as he can, before coming over to not so much sit as flop onto the couch beside Harry and openly look at what's on the screen... ]
[ Harrison wanders over to his backpack, kneeling down to unzip it and fish out the flash drive Cisco had planted in there, then heads over to the laptop, pulling it over and plugging the drive in. He can vaguely hear Cisco doing the dishes in the background, but— whatever. He's the one who made the damn thing in the first place. If he didn't want him looking at whatever was on it, then he wouldn't have given it to him in the first place.
It's at that moment that Harrison idly considers the possibility of Cisco slapping something like a sex tape on a USB, just to razz him from another universe. Given their states of mind the previous night, he probably didn't, but then again, it was Cisco. He never knows. Needless to say, he breathes a sigh of relief when he sees several image files populate the folder and no video files in sight.
That relief is short lived though as he slowly goes through the files, brows furrowing. It's . . . him and everyone else, not just Cisco. Sure, there are a few here and there of the two of them — the pictures that Cisco managed to twist his arm into letting him take, reassuring him that no one else would find them. Which— good, because Harrison wouldn't want to explain the picture of Cisco draped all over him on one of the rolling chairs in the workshop while still managing to take the shot of the two of them to Joe, thanks. But there are others, too. A quiet moment in the lab with Snow, her silently offering him a pen without even looking up. One of his many back-and-forths with Allen — and he doesn't know how he missed it before, how the corners of Allen's lips had been curled, like he was suppressing a smile. Him with Joe and Iris West, going over some of the modifications he'd made to her firearm. Jesse, too — Jesse with Wally, out somewhere that Iris must have taken them to, because he doesn't recognize it.
It's overwhelming is what it is.
He stares numbly at the machine as he tabs through one image after another, expression blank as though the wind were taken out of him. It's like a punch in the stomach as he goes on, because this— he almost left this, all of this, behind him here. Jesse was right. He finds that most of the time, she is — an infuriating trait that she shares with her mother. She'd been wrong here and there more lately, but not this time. Not now.
Harrison's so absorbed in it all that he doesn't even notice when Cisco flops down next to him to lean over and take a peak. ]
[ As soon as Cisco sees what is on the screen, he glances at the thumb drive and understands. Harry must not have gotten a chance to even look at these, when he got to Earth-2, so he is checking it out now. And it's clear from his body language, his facial expression, how deeply absorbed he is. How emotional. So Cisco doesn't say anything, even though a joke about looking up memes on his computer had been at the tip of his tongue. He merely scoots closer, fitting his body next to Harry's and dropping his head onto Harry's shoulder as he keeps scrolling through.
Cisco remembers how late it had been, when he had been putting together this makeshift album. It had been nearly morning, by then. He'd made the adjustments to Harry's watch, first. Less than a day ago. Cisco remembers scouring through his phone and all the messy folders on various hard drives, picking which to include and which to leave off. He'd been dry-eyed the whole time, but his heart had ached.
He doesn't speak up until Harry gets to a picture of himself and Jesse, sitting at the bank of computers in the cortex. That had been right after they dealt with King Shark, Cisco's almost positive. It's a rare candid in which Harry is actually smiling, his hair a mess and his glasses sliding dangerously low on his nose. ]
[ When Cisco scoots closer to him, slotting himself right in next to him, Harrison almost immediately pulls a hand away from the laptop, sliding his arm around him and letting his fingers curl against his side. He glances over at him when he speaks, giving him the smallest of half-smiles before turning his attention back towards the screen. That had been . . . well. An exhausting period of time. Adjusting to a new world, getting Jesse reoriented with everything, and tracking a giant shark-man on top of all of that? It had been something else, to say the least. ]
Yeah. [ A beat. ] So do I.
[ He pulls Cisco in a bit closer at that. It's hard to relax — he's not sure he'll even be able to for awhile, if he's being honest with himself. But that pit of regret that had dug into his stomach hours ago on an entirely different universe is finally starting to clear up, at least. ]
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franciscoramon) wrote2015-02-21 01:38 am
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[ He really doesn't. If anything, Harrison should probably be apologizing to him for putting him through the emotional wringer. But he's not one for apologies — at least, not unless they're absolutely necessary.
When Cisco pulls back, he keeps a hand on his shoulder, frowning slightly as Cisco wipes at his eyes. He reaches in with his own sleeve to wipe away anything else from Cisco's eyes, murmuring. ]
Look at you. You're a mess . . .
[ There's nothing accusatory in that statement, though. If anything, it's as close as he'll come to an apology, mild concern showing through in his eyes, in his voice. Of course Cisco had tried to be strong and held all of it in until he was gone. Of course he'd hole himself up in his apartment, so he could be miserable by himself. Harrison rubs at his shoulder with a thumb, then gives him a light push to turn him around, in the direction of his bedroom, and kicks the door shut behind him with his foot. ]
When did you last sleep? Don't answer that, I don't want to know. [ Another nudge at that. ] Bed. C'mon.
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So it's nice, having Harry turning him around by the shoulders and marching him back to his bedroom. It removes the necessity of needing to make that one decision for himself, for th[ ]e time being. He tries to hold back a yawn as they make their way down the hall. ]
I'm perfectly capable of pulling an all-nighter and functioning just fine...
[ Which he realizes a moment too late is actually answering the question Harry had said he didn't want answered. Oops. Oh well. He flops onto his messy bed, dragging the duvet over himself and saying: ]
Don't let me sleep too long.
[ At that point, the shock of Harry's return has sunk in enough for Cisco to think logistics. He'd already gotten rid of the other apartment, hadn't he? Or at least, put in mention the gears to do so, which could not be halted easily, without a lot of fuss and explanation. Hopefully, he asks: ]
You're going to live here, aren't you?
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You'll survive. [ A beat. ] Since when have you ever had a normal sleep schedule, anyway?
[ He lets out a snort, straightening a few things up here and there — throwing a pillow back onto the bed (underhanded, so it gracefully lands on top of Cisco), snatching up the coffee mug he'd left on the bedside table this morning (which, in hindsight, seems needlessly cruel, and he's quick to set it outside the door to throw in the dishwasher later), and scooping up a few articles of clothing and tossing them to the side in a pile. At that last question, he glances back over, raising an eyebrow. ]
I don't have anywhere else to go now, do I?
[ Which isn't entirely true. Now that Wally is aware of everything, Joe might be more amenable to letting him crash on his couch for a bit, at least until he worked out something else with an apartment. Snow had a basement. And when in doubt, he could always set himself back up in S.T.A.R. Labs and pull out a cot again. But none of those places really had a "home"-y feel to them. Granted, Cisco's apartment didn't either and in his opinion, it needed a fair amount of fixing up (he distinctly recalls it being cleaner before). But it could be.
Harrison pauses, then sits down on the edge of the bed, reaching over to pull the pillow off of Cisco and set it back at the head of the bed, before quietly clasping his hands in his lap. He doesn't have to sit there and stare at him until he sleeps, he knows — Cisco isn't him and he'll drift off soon enough. But he does feel responsible on some level. It's a powerful thing. ]
Yeah. I am.
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Good.
[ That smile only gets wider when Harry perches on the bed near him, quietly keeping him company. Any other day he might tease him for just sitting there watching him (and maybe he'll do it later, when he wakes up), but for now, Cisco is too too grateful for his presence to complain. Cisco keeps one hand tucked under his cheek, but he lets the other one come to rest near to Harry on the bed. Not touching him, but close enough that he could, if he just reached out his fingers. ]
You're really one to talk about- [ He is interrupted by a huge yawn ] -sleep schedules.
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[ Not one to back down from a challenge, Harrison slides his hand over to Cisco's, putting it over his. After a few minutes pass, he gives it a brief squeeze and stands, walking out of the room and closing the door quietly, and then shuffles off to put the dishes in the dishwasher. With any luck, Cisco would sleep until around dinnertime — hopefully anyway. Which raises the question of dinner. Under any other circumstance, Harrison would be quick to order takeout for the two of them and let that be that. But deep down inside, he still feels some amount of guilt over the last 24 hours. He'd have to make it up to Snow and Allen in some other way, but for Cisco . . .
Harrison opens up his fridge and immediately makes a face. It had been filled the last time they were there but then again, Jesse had done most of the shopping as the two of them wanted her to feel comfortable. Now— he wasn't even going to contemplate what he could possibly do with the current contents. With a sigh, he snatches Cisco's keys up from the counter and heads out to the van, pulling his baseball cap out of his backpack. An hour and one grocery run later, Harrison heads back into Cisco's place with his bags as well as a few bags of groceries. He sets his backpack and dufflebag near the master bedroom, to the side of the door, and then starts to put a few of the items away while setting some others to the side.
His eyes briefly flick over to his bags — namely, the dufflebag, the one he'd had shoved unceremoniously into his arms before he was brought back over. He hadn't really had the chance to go through it and take a look at the contents. Cisco would still be out for a bit; he could easily take his bags to the guest room and unpack there until they figured out a better arrangement, see for himself what Jesse had told Garrick to grab. But today had been exhausting enough already.
He shakes his head, turning back to the ingredients on the counter and starts working on a pasta — chopping up some tomatoes and onions, boiling the noodles, fixing up some ground beef to mix in. At one point, he stops eying the clock and mentally calculating how many hours Cisco has been out, focusing instead on stirring the sauce while the oven heats up, garlic bread slowly starting to brown. It had been awhile since he'd had the chance to cook — really, since he'd felt like cooking. There was something invigorating about it all. ]
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Not gone, after all.
Cisco wanders out from the bedroom quietly, still groggy from his nap as he comes to join Harry in the kitchen. He stands out of the way, shoulder braced against the fridge, watching Harry going to and fro as he cooks. ]
That smells so amazing.
[ He feels like there are a lot of things the two of them ought to say. About the future. About things between them. But that all seems really heavy right now. So instead, Cisco simply offers: ]
Need help?
[ Cisco thinks that he could set the table, at the very least. Or... unearth the table from underneath the books and schematics and stray tools (he'd been sitting there all night working on Harry's watch) and then set it. ]
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Yeah. You got a table there, Ramon?
[ Which is his way of asking him to clear it off, please and thank you.
In the meantime, Harrison pulls the bread out of the oven, then mixes the sauce in with the angel hair noodles. He pulls a noodle off the spoon and pops it in his mouth quickly — good enough. He didn't know that many recipes off the top of his head but there were a few that he'd learned to get down relatively pat over the years, and this was one of them. Satisfied, he scoops it onto two different plates, then quickly slices up the garlic bread. ]
I filled your refrigerator.
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Then it's just a simple matter of setting out utensils and napkins and the rest. As he's pouring the water, Cisco has one moment of rather dizzying perspective. It's all just so... normal. Sitting down for a quiet dinner, with someone he cares about who is telling him they got groceries. So domestic and average. But it isn't. Not really. Because it's Harry and he hadn't just gotten groceries, he had crossed over from a parallel world and only a day ago the two of them had helped to stop a superpowered psychopath from destroying the multiverse, and it's so strange how the two can coexist at the very same time. ]
Thanks.
[ Even though he knows he doesn't have to make excuses, Cisco raises his eyebrows at Harry and says, drily: ]
Haven't had a lot of time to cook these last few weeks.
[ It really was a sprint to the finishing line, dealing with Zoom. Cisco's barely seen the inside of his apartment, since he re-opened the breach and all hell broke loose. Which makes it all the nicer to sit down to a home cooked meal and just... relax. Or try to. There's a small part of Cisco's mind that is still in crisis mode, still waiting for a call from Joe or Barry, something that'll require them to rush to the lab right away and leave that lovely-smelling garlic bread behind. ]
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Which isn't to say Harrison's been perfect with that. His outburst a few weeks ago about how easily Cisco had caved to Allen seemed to cross some sort of line between the two of them, but he'd been too angry to accept it then and then, too busy recovering and planning to stop and think. ]
Imagine that.
[ He sits down and waits for Cisco to do the same, quiet. He'd had to keep busy today, or he would have driven himself mad. Internally, his mind is racing now — where's Jesse right now, what's she doing, is she okay, is she eating, is she by herself — a constant, muted stream of worry. It'll get better tomorrow. And moreso the next day, and the following day, and the one after that, he knows.
At least it's better than the massive question mark she'd been in his mind only a few months ago. ]
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Thinking about S.T.A.R. Labs raises another question in his mind - one that he mulls over for a few minutes before he asks: ]
So... what are we going to say to Barry and Caitlin and everybody, about you living here?
[ It's as neutral a way as he can think of, to ask the question that he really means: are we going to tell them about us? ]
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Telling Jesse was an extremely easy decision for him, in part because he had an idea of how she'd react to it and more importantly, how she'd react if he didn't tell her the first chance he got. She'd raised an eyebrow, punched his shoulder lightly, and then told him to never tell her anything ever about it again oh my god, Dad. But she'd said all of that with a mischievious look on her face, like she was more of a co-conspirator than anything else. It helped that she knew little to nothing about Eobard Thawne and his history with everyone at S.T.A.R. Labs.
Harrison swallows and then reaches up to wipe at his mouth with his napkin. ]
The truth.
[ He's not thrilled about it, and that shows on his face. But he's also pragmatic at times, and this is one of those times. Harrison glances over at Cisco and shrugs. ]
They're not stupid, Ramon.
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[ Cisco's not stupid, either. He knows that, if their friends react badly to the news that they are together, any outrage and anger will be directed at Harry, and not himself, no matter how much he insists it was his idea in the first place, that he practically bullied Harry into it. They know Cisco better than Harry, trust him more - even after everything Harry has done.
Besides, he knows it's easy for them to think of him as less capable and less mature than he is. That in some ways it's easy for them to see him as a victim, because they'd seen him like that in the past. They might not know everything that had gone on between him and Eobard (something he's profoundly grateful for), but they knew enough. They'd seen him at his lowest points - Harry never had. Just anticipating that concern, the hushed voices, rankles him, makes his pride sting.
But Harry has a point. They will figure it out sooner or later. The fact that they haven't yet is a small miracle - considering how many risks they have taken, how many times they've ended up tangled together kissing breathlessly in the workshop or med bay or an empty office. ]
Maybe it'll be good for them. Give 'em something to get their mind off...
[ He trails off and shrugs, but Harry will know what he means, he's sure. Get Barry's mind off his father being brutally murdered right in front of him. Get Caitlin's mind off being kidnapped and terrorized by a madman. ]
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I'm not— okay with it. But it's what we should do.
[ There's a pause as he considers that, then gestures vaguely with one hand. ]
I'm a private person, alright?
[ He's not trying to hide anything. It's not that he really cares too much about their reactions either, or the potential outrage that could come his way. It's more how they'll react, digging into his life and picking at the personal details, at the finer points. Those were his; his life wasn't some showcase for everyone to offer commentary on. He'd never talked about his wife before. It was like pulling teeth for them to get him to say anything about Jesse before she'd been rescued (though that was in part because it was all still raw, still painful). Harrison could say a million and one things about his opinions on his extended family, but he didn't. That wasn't up for discussion or on display for the world to see. He kept it close to his chest; the same goes for any relationship. It's theirs. ]
. . . maybe.
[ He leans back, trying to gauge Cisco's reaction to it all. ]
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And when Harry says he's a private person, Cisco merely smiles softly, just a hint of wryness in his voice as he adds: ]
I've noticed.
[ There is still so much he doesn't know about Harry's past. It was partly Harry's refusal to be open about his life that had lead Cisco to mistrust him so profoundly, when they had first met. Well, it had been a combination of Harry being unwilling to relinquish any details about his life while simultaneously dragging several of Cisco's secrets into the light. ]
We've got that in common.
[ Privacy, Cisco knows, looks different on him. He is a little more selective about what he decides to keep private, and about how he does so. Harry goes the full avoidance route, whereas Cisco is more likely to deflect, to distract and misdirect with humor. He goes overboard on things that he doesn't mind sharing, so he gives the impression of saying anything that comes into his head and holding nothing back. But he does. Harry still knows very little about his family; Barry and Caitlin know nothing about him and Eobard. He kept his powers hidden until Harry came along with that watch... ]
So what're you thinkin' - facebook announcement? Sky writing? Mass text? How we gonna do this?
[ Obviously none of those are real suggestions, but the question of how they should go about telling their friends is one that they ought to discuss. ]
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He quickly follows that up by rolling his eyes before considering. Being forward with them was probably for the best, but it seemed ridiculous to make some big deal about it, like a formal announcement. After a moment or two, he shrugs again. ]
We could stop being discreet. And if they ask, we can confirm it. Let them put two and two together.
[ It's not that forward, but it's not dragging their personal lives out for all to see either. Besides— ]
Like you said, it could be a fair distraction.
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But... maybe Harry's right. It wouldn't be like that, exactly. It would just be... undoing the dishonesty that they've gotten so used to. Letting the truth come out gradually, rather than making some kind of awkward, grandiose announcement. His only concern is that they will both be so used to hiding that it will be hard for them to stop. ]
I guess that could work.
[ He pulls off another chunk of the garlic bread, wanting something to do with his hands as he asks: ]
And are we gonna have some kind of strategy in mind for, um. If they don't take it so well?
[ Cisco doesn't actually think either Caitlin or Barry will make that much fuss, but... he can't be sure. Since his father was killed, Barry had been volatile, less a person and more a walking talking white-hot ball of rage. That anger won't have just vanished with Zoom: that's not how it works, and Cisco knows that. And Caitlin, after her own romantic choices had crashed and burned so disastrously: what if she worries? What if she cries? ]
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After a moment, he turns his attention back to his pasta. ]
No. If it happens, we'll deal with it.
[ They can't make contingency plans for everything. But more importantly, after the exhausting events of the past two days, he can't even fathom dealing with something like that. It seems so . . . petty in comparison to everything else. His reaction would likely be him rolling his eyes at the other person and telling them to grow up. Not exactly something he wants to straight up tell Cisco, but. ]
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And he thinks, as he lapses into a companionable silence, eating the food that Harry has made him, they should be less likely to object, after Harry came back from Earth-2 for him. Of course, Cisco knows that wasn't entirely for him. This world is Harry's home, now. But it had at least partly been for him, and that demonstration of Harry's affections means more than a million words of justification and explanation ever could. ]
After we're done with dishes, I'll clear out a couple drawers, make some space for your stuff.
[ And the thought of that - of needing to make space in his apartment for Harry, of having him here, has Cisco beaming again. The choices he has then are to say something phenomenally, unforgivably cheesy, or to crack a joke. Predictably, he goes for the latter ]
So is you cooking gonna become a regular thing?
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He lets out a snort at the remark about his cooking a moment later, eying him lazily across the table, over his empty plate. ]
Nice try.
[ He crosses his arms at that. Harrison didn't want to outright say the meal was partially an apology, but the implication should be heavy nonetheless. He cocks his head to one side at him, as if challenging him. ]
Unless you're going to pitch in.
[ With a smirk, he stands, starting to collect the empty plates. ]
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[ Since when has Cisco ever been able to resist a challenge from Harry? The answer is, of course: never. He knows there is a chance that Harry is just trying to get him to agree to cook for them sometime, but he doesn't care. The bait is too tempting not to rise to it, and besides. Cooking for Harry out of a pugnacious determination to prove himself is just as much fun as cooking for him because he likes him, likes doing nice things for him occasionally (very occasionally). ]
Okay, I'm a totally average cook. Look, I'm not about to win Chopped or anything but contrary to popular opinion, when our lives aren't totally under siege, I don't usually live on takeout alone.
[ He is touching on something he doesn't quite know how to talk about just yet - what it's going to be like, now that Zoom is gone. Cisco has no idea how hectic things may be. For all he knows, another supervillain may show up in a day. Or maybe things will be back to what he thinks of as normal - or some approximation of it - with Barry running around dealing with lesser criminals and metahumans, and him and Caitlin and Harry helping out, but without all the long nights and stress and terror Zoom had brought with him. Or maybe it will be like after the singularity: Barry might need a break, a few months of quiet, a tranquil sort of holding pattern.
If the last option is true, he is glad Harry will be here, to keep him entertained through it. To keep him company. The last time had been pretty damned lonely. ]
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(That, and Cisco was fairly well prepared when it came to pots, pans, and other kitchen utensils, but details.)
The corners of his mouth twitch a bit, despite his best efforts to suppress a smile. ]
Yeah? I'll believe it when I see it.
[ Once he's finished loading most of the dishes in, he dries his hands off, eyes straying towards his bags, which are still sitting in the hallway. The dufflebag . . . he still doesn't have the willpower to deal with that tonight. Maybe not tomorrow either. Harrison wouldn't be too surprised if a week passed and it was still exactly the way it had been when it was shoved into his arms. His backpack was much less of a surprise at least, even with the gifts Cisco had planted in there.
Which reminds him. ]
You got a laptop around here somewhere?
[ It's Cisco, so it goes without saying, but he's too tired to go digging around the apartment for a computer when he can have Cisco point him in the right direction. ]
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But his curiosity gradually increases, and before long he's peering over his shoulder at Harry with interest. The angle is not right for him to see what Harry is doing. He could just ask now, but that would be far too easy. So instead Cisco finishes the scrubbing and rinsing and the rest of it as quickly as he can, before coming over to not so much sit as flop onto the couch beside Harry and openly look at what's on the screen... ]
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It's at that moment that Harrison idly considers the possibility of Cisco slapping something like a sex tape on a USB, just to razz him from another universe. Given their states of mind the previous night, he probably didn't, but then again, it was Cisco. He never knows. Needless to say, he breathes a sigh of relief when he sees several image files populate the folder and no video files in sight.
That relief is short lived though as he slowly goes through the files, brows furrowing. It's . . . him and everyone else, not just Cisco. Sure, there are a few here and there of the two of them — the pictures that Cisco managed to twist his arm into letting him take, reassuring him that no one else would find them. Which— good, because Harrison wouldn't want to explain the picture of Cisco draped all over him on one of the rolling chairs in the workshop while still managing to take the shot of the two of them to Joe, thanks. But there are others, too. A quiet moment in the lab with Snow, her silently offering him a pen without even looking up. One of his many back-and-forths with Allen — and he doesn't know how he missed it before, how the corners of Allen's lips had been curled, like he was suppressing a smile. Him with Joe and Iris West, going over some of the modifications he'd made to her firearm. Jesse, too — Jesse with Wally, out somewhere that Iris must have taken them to, because he doesn't recognize it.
It's overwhelming is what it is.
He stares numbly at the machine as he tabs through one image after another, expression blank as though the wind were taken out of him. It's like a punch in the stomach as he goes on, because this— he almost left this, all of this, behind him here. Jesse was right. He finds that most of the time, she is — an infuriating trait that she shares with her mother. She'd been wrong here and there more lately, but not this time. Not now.
Harrison's so absorbed in it all that he doesn't even notice when Cisco flops down next to him to lean over and take a peak. ]
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Cisco remembers how late it had been, when he had been putting together this makeshift album. It had been nearly morning, by then. He'd made the adjustments to Harry's watch, first. Less than a day ago. Cisco remembers scouring through his phone and all the messy folders on various hard drives, picking which to include and which to leave off. He'd been dry-eyed the whole time, but his heart had ached.
He doesn't speak up until Harry gets to a picture of himself and Jesse, sitting at the bank of computers in the cortex. That had been right after they dealt with King Shark, Cisco's almost positive. It's a rare candid in which Harry is actually smiling, his hair a mess and his glasses sliding dangerously low on his nose. ]
I really like that one.
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Yeah. [ A beat. ] So do I.
[ He pulls Cisco in a bit closer at that. It's hard to relax — he's not sure he'll even be able to for awhile, if he's being honest with himself. But that pit of regret that had dug into his stomach hours ago on an entirely different universe is finally starting to clear up, at least. ]
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