franciscoramon | riverview ∆ ic inbox ∆ @ciscodelamancha

[ Cisco feels a momentary rush of hope - he forgets, most of the time, that Ronnie could arrive, even though he's dead... but he can't let himself think about that too much. He doesn't want to get his hopes up. ]

trust me, if either of them come through the portal, i'm never gonna shut up about it.

That's my man
rev up for birthday cake later ok?

[Rey manages to pour herself some of the whiskey, not caring for the simply syrup or whatever else Cisco put in the last drink. She raised the glass up to her lips, taking another long sip, but not downing everything. The fear coming off of Cisco...it's palpable. After swallowing the whiskey and concentrating on the burn of it, she placed her glass down.

Her eyes were on the glass itself, as if all the answers to her problems were right there, waiting to be discovered.]

Are you afraid I'll turn into him?

[Or...go back to him? Try to work things out? There is a part of her that wants to. That small part that didn't want to let go of the one person who she thought understood her the most, but the greater part of her knows better. Ben chose the path he wanted to take. He chose to not walk away and chose...the wrong path, but she couldn't correct it.

He had to fix his own mistakes.

There wasn't a doubt in her mind that they would figure things out, but she wanted to know if he feared her.. If he feared she would turn into some creature like Ben, or fearful she would try to go back to him...or just afraid of her because of what she could do.]

He's pretty fucking likeable and you're both huge dorks so I am sure you'll get along

Hey babe.

I'm at that work party. Miss you a lot.

how's it going?
did somebody bake the guy a cake?
or is he too denture-y for that

[ Cisco... that's mean. ]

miss you too
not enough to come over there and socialize with everybody from the station
but i do miss you

I think you can eat cake with dentures. He is pretty old though.

I sorta wish you were here. All the senior officers are and you would really, really lighten the place up.

...am I ever going to be this old?

see your knowledge of dentures has vastly outstripped mine in a single sentence

i am kind of the life of the party
is it really that dull?
i could always call with a fake emergency
make up something real elaborate to tear you away

considering all the kale you eat?
and that you jog, voluntarily, multiple times a week?
for sure, babe.

Thanks, I guess?

You really are. And the party in my life? That sounds stupid, sorry, I'm pretty tipsy. I just miss you a lot. I like having you around.

I don't know if I want to be that old.

probably a detective thing
i know shit about electron fields and you know about people
not all that surprising

😂 the party of your life????
never heard that one before
but i get what you're saying
i like having you around, too
you're like the catering dj decorations and disco ball in the party of my life
i mean that

come on, you're gonna be a totally cute little old man
probably all bald and with big old glasses
and a bunch of werther's in your pockets

how come you're talking like that?
why wouldn't you want that?

[ Sure beats the alternative. Eddie had died young once, and it had been wrong. Wrong enough for the universe to reach out and fix it. ]

Haha, I guess! I don't know if whether or not old people can eat cake is really a detective skill.

The party IN my life. You know. You make my life fun.
And I am not. I'm not really a 'fun' guy, I'm more like the reliable one that's the designated driver.

It's not really about looks I guess. I'm just worried about being frail!

Maybe I'm just thinking about the future a lot. You know?

hey now
just you watch that's gonna be a vital clue in a case someday
and when that day comes i get to say i told you so

[ Just casually assuming that Eddie will work enough cases in his life that it will come up, and that Cisco will still be around and talking to him and there to gloat. ]

first of all designated drivers are important
second of all, you're not just that
you're the designated driver who also brought glowsticks for everybody AND helped set up the pyrotechnics display

i get that
but it happens to everybody
and plenty of people stay wicked strong for a lot of their lives
i watched this documentary once about these martial arts monks ok they were like ancient and still ripped
i bet that's gonna be you

makes sense considering the setting
i'm guessing you're not talking about the 'when are they gonna invent hoverboards' kind of thinking about the future?

You know, I can see that. It would be my luck.
And if I had to hear I told you so from anyone, it would be you. I'd be okay with it.

Wow. All that huh? I think you're just flattering me.

If I have to get old, I'm gonna be that guy. Anyway, this isn't about getting old, not really. I just saw one of the older guys, close to retirement, mostly works a desk now. He was dancing with his partner earlier, and I just got thinking, you know?

I guess I just hope that's us someday.

[ He opens his mouth to deny it, immediately and categorically, but stops himself before he even makes a sound. Rey deserves the truth. Not just part of it. So he takes a beat, looking down at his drink, wanting to be honest and not to hurt her. It's a fine tightrope to walk. ]

....I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm a little afraid something might happen someday to make you consider the Dark Side again.

[ Cisco looks up at Rey, apologetic, face grave. He gnaws at his lower lip a moment before he explains: ]

Not 'cause of Ren. And not 'cause I think you're evil on the inside or weak or- whatever bad things you might be thinking. The only reason I worry about that is because I trust you. A lot. Which I know sounds like a contradiction, but. Trusting people... caring about them... letting them get close to me... makes me afraid of them, a little. It's not just you. It's everybody.

[ He looks back to the glass in his hands, tapping at it, swirling the liquid inside it. It wasn't easy, admitting just how broken he was. How he had just come to accept being afraid of people as an unavoidable side effect of any degree of intimacy and trust. Cisco knows it's messed up, but there was no changing it as far as he could see. Eobard had done quite the number on him. ]

But the thing I'm much more afraid of is that you'll get hurt. That he'll snap and attack you, or you'll get your hopes up and he'll disappoint you again.

all that and more.

come on getting old isn't so bad
don't think of it as a 'have to'
think of it as a 'get to'
better than never aging and being like that cricket guy from the greek myth

[ Cisco is stunned by the last text, and takes a little longer to answer it than the last few, because he has to blink at his phone for a moment, heart suddenly racing. How is it Eddie can make him get that butterflies-in-his-stomach feeling, all fluttery and light and scared and giggly, with just a sentence, even after all the time they've been together. ]

were they doing the funky chicken?
i need to know for science
(i hope that's us, too)

[ That joke is doing very little to hide how earnest his answer is. ]

I seriously think you're biased.

Okay fine, you're right. I tap out. Growing old isn't so bad. Especially if you get to grow old with someone you care about. I think that's what scares me the most, the idea of doing it alone, you know?

They weren't. But we will be. ;)

how dare you!
i am a scientist!
edward thomas thawne i will set up a double blind study to confirm my words don't you tempt me

well yeah okay
THAT i understand
i'm with you there
the idea of being long term alone = instant spiral of existential terror

hell yeah
or whatever will be the equivalent of the funky chicken in 50 years

Hey, last time I checked, emotions weren't really a scientific thing. Don't you middle-name me.

I was thinking about it a lot after Iris and when I first got here. It's honestly just awful to think about. :(

But now I have you.
And I am pretty sure I'm gonna have you for a long time if you want me to.

everything is a scientific thing if you believe in yourself
and i'll middle name you as much as i like thanks very much

well it was a huge life transition
i can see why you'd be worrying big-picture like that
but there's no reason to assume the future's gonna be bad

[ Cisco pauses before he answers the rest; if he thinks about his words too much he's going to end up tongue-tied (finger-tied?) and overthinking, so after that pause he answers in a rush, not even giving himself time to reread once before hitting send. ]

and i'm pretty sure you're right about that
barring environmental catastrophe, body snatching, plague, apocalypse, or other unknown calamity
i'm pretty sure you got me for the long haul

So, while I grab another rum and coke, you should explain how emotions are a scientific thing?

Francisco Paco Ramon.

;)

[The next text comes a few minutes later, because he can tell this is something he maybe shouldn't be talking about a bit drunk and over text. But he wants to.]

Life transition...can you still call it that if it was me dying??

Good. Because you're everything I want. Everything I've ever wanted.

i guess i brought that on myself huh?
you already know emotions have a basis in science, baby
i mean look at our powers.

it was you starting a new life
new apartment, new friends
new job, new department
new universe

you sure about that?
even though i eat too many skittles
and text you too many memes
and middle name you
and make body snatching jokes when i ought to be serious?

[Part of Rey wonders if Cisco will brush off her question and simply reassure her that he wasn't afraid for her. Or maybe, he'll go into an in depth conversation to what the dangers she would face, and that is what makes him fearful for her. Not of her, but for her.

Two separate things, which had two completely different meanings. She was leaning more towards the first one. It would imply he trusted her or had faith that she would do the right thing, but his gaze goes downward and her heart sinks into her chest.

Cisco locks eyes with her and she can feel the Force wavering around him, twisting and turning with what he struggled to tell her. His uneasiness is something that's quite palpable to her and though he explains his position, it doesn't sting any less.

He's afraid that she could turn to the Dark Side. She's done it before. She gave in willingly, but she came out of it. But to Cisco, and to Luke, she already fell. There was too much of a chance she could do it again. Anger bubbled up inside of her, feeling as though she's been written off to one role--possibly the same way Ben had been, but he already showed his true colors, hadn't he?

In the same breath Cisco said he was afraid of what could happen for her, because he trusted her. A big contradiction, one she was trying to wrap her head around while trying to keep her feelings from showing on her face.]

I can appreciate the honesty. [Her words are distant, reigning back to the emotions rolling around in her being. She can't blame Cisco, she couldn't. This was who he was, but it still...hurt. Her eyes glance down at her drink, taking a deep breath.]

I've been disappointed before, it's nothing new to me. Getting hurt is nothing new to me. [He was honest, and she was trying to pay the same favor.] I get where you're coming from with this, but I can handle it. I don't have a choice in it but to handle it, and...make sure no one else gets hurt in the process.

Okay, you have a point there. But I think there are certain parts of emotions that are undefinable by science. The physical responses and how they affect our bodies, sure, that's science. When I look at you and my heart speeds up and I can't help but smile, that's science. Hormones affecting the body.

But knowing that I'd do anything for you, that I'd step in front of a bullet to keep it from hitting you, that's not hormones. It's something else. More like magic.

I know that sounds dumb.

I love you even when you eat too many skittles. You never text me too many memes, I love all of them. You're the only person who can get away with middle naming me.

And I love your sense of humor. It's attractive.

dumb, no. cheesy, a little.
but i love your cheese

(and you better not be planning on jumping in front of any bullets
you've gotten shot like ten times and i never have
it's totally my turn dude)

well now you're just making me blush, detective thawne

Well, that's a relief, because being cheesy is part of who I am. ;)

(It will never be your turn to take a bullet. If there's a bullet and you, I will step between it every time.)

Pics or it didn't happen.

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