[ He gives him a side-long glance at that, allowing a half-smile to cross his face. It was an interesting prospect, though all of the old projects would inevitably have some traces of Eobard Thawne here and there. The idea of picking up his work makes him want to turn his nose up at all of it, but . . . without Thawne's research, they wouldn't have been able to create the breach reactor charges. And rehabilitating S.T.A.R. Labs and the name "Harrison Wells" also meant rehabilitating Thawne's work. It would be a challenge to make it into something good that wasn't necessarily for some time traveller's personal gain, but he was never one to back down from something like that.
The "we" though . . . ]
Would you want to?
[ He sounds almost amused. They have a history and Cisco has a history with Thawne and he's honestly not entirely certain which one concerns him more these days. It's not something he thinks about much, more a small thought that picks at him from time to time. He's seen it here and there — the looks Cisco gives him, his tone when it comes to Thawne or anything surrounding him, how the subject will change and he'll not want to talk about it. Harrison is fairly certain there was something there once, something he'd be better off not knowing about. And then, part of him wants to lean in and whisper a simple truth to him: "I'll never be the man you want me to be."
Harrison shakes his head at the thought, leaning back and examining Cisco curiously. ]
[ He shouldn't want it. There are so many reasons he wishes his answer were 'no'. And he could lie, could say no, pretend that he's sick of collaborating with Harry, spending time with Harry. Maybe if he said it to enough people, he would start to believe it himself.
But who would that lie be for? Cisco has never cared to lie to make the people around him more comfortable (the same way he has never been willing to compromise the way he looks, the way he speaks, just to fit in). The lie would be for Harry's good, maybe, but Harry is a grown man, capable of looking after himself. And yes, the lie would be for his own good. But Cisco's never been all that good at resisting things he knows might be bad for him. In fact, he is shockingly bad at it.
Cisco meets Harry's eyes, full-on, unflinching. There is a conviction in that stare, a heat, that isn't just about the science, however much Cisco tries to make it be. ]
Yes. I would.
[ Then, that intensity slips from his look, and he lets some humor creep in, the corner of his mouth curling into a challenging smirk ]
If you think you can keep up with me.
[ Keep up with him when it comes to cutting-edge science, of course. But even as he says it, Cisco hears the unintended innuendo. And then he watches Harry, wondering if it will register for him. Wondering if he has any idea, or if he is totally oblivious, to the way Cisco looks at him sometimes. Can't stop himself from looking ]
[ He'd have to be blind to miss it, deaf not to hear it. In truth, Harrison's turned a blind eye more often than not because there wasn't any time to address it. It wasn't important. It was just there, this thing between them that they didn't speak of — or at least, he didn't. But at this late hour with him still rattled from nightmares, with Cisco giving him that look . . .
It's a bad idea.
His eyes meet Cisco's briefly and his fingers curl, like he's holding himself back, and he lets out a huff and dips his head. ]
Don't flatter yourself.
[ His voice is dry, a teasing air to it, but he knows it's also an attempt at a pushback. At trying to do the right thing for the both of them. ]
[ There is something so reassuringly Harry about that answer. It isn't that the last Dr. Wells never teased him - he did. He'd had a playful side; it was just that Cisco had had to coax it out of him. Left to his own devices, he was polite, serious, sober. Cisco had always been the one to tease out a thread of fun, of light-hearted competitiveness, in him.
But Harry's teasing is entirely another thing. It needs no prompting from Cisco, half the time. It is also ruder, more straightforward, more genuine than anything Dr. Wells had ever said to him. If the first man with that face had ever told Cisco not to flatter himself, it would have devastated him. But he's a little older now, a lot less innocent, and Harry hasn't got the same hold over him as Eobard Thawne. ]
Sounds to me like someone who is afraid of a challenge.
[ Cisco keeps looking at Harry - at the stillness of him, the way his hands are held in loose fists. There would be one easy way, to find out. He could kiss him, here and now. Lay it out in the open between them, cut through the crap and the double-talk. His eyes flick down to Harry's mouth and then back up, just for a second.
But he doesn't. Not because he's afraid (well, mostly not). But because it wouldn't be fair to Harry. For once, the power differential between them is tilted in Cisco's favor, and he recognizes it. Harry is staying here because there is nowhere else safe for him, for his daughter. Cisco should not use that to his advantage. Shouldn't make advances that might be unwelcome, make him feel unsafe here.
So a little of that warmth, that audacity, goes out of Cisco. He sets it aside for now and says, in a softer voice ]
You think you can get back to sleep, or you want me to make us some coffee?
[ It may have been only for a second, but Harrison catches the look that Cisco throws his way and he knows — he knows what it's about. Maybe not entirely what's going through his mind but the general idea at the very least, what he wants (or what he thinks he wants). Meanwhile, in his own mind, he's starting to piece together what needs to be done in the next few days. Talk to Barry, have him sign the paperwork for them, find a landlord that won't ask too many questions — Detective West should have an idea about that potentially, and then move in. And then? Get Jesse settled. Get settled himself. Figure out what to do with his life on his own time. And put as much distance between himself and Ramon outside of work as he can for now.
Maybe he is afraid. But it's for a good reason.
Harrison shakes his head, resting his hands on his knees and shifting, ready to get up at any moment. ]
No, I'll try to get back to sleep again. Either I'll manage and it's fine or I won't and I'll have to look into that.
[ Cisco is actually glad that Harry is going to try, at least. He's pretty sure that the sleep debt Harry incurred over the last four months of his life still hasn't been made up; besides, if he decided to stay awake, Cisco was obviously going to stay awake with him. When he mentions looking into ways to sleep, if he can't Cisco quirks a smile ]
Well, I think there's some leftover sleeping pills in the medicine cabinet if you want to go for the nuclear option.
[ Of course, the reason Cisco still has them is that he didn't take them when they were prescribed to him, but Harry doesn't need to know that. More quietly, he adds: ]
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franciscoramon) wrote2015-02-21 01:38 am
no subject
The "we" though . . . ]
Would you want to?
[ He sounds almost amused. They have a history and Cisco has a history with Thawne and he's honestly not entirely certain which one concerns him more these days. It's not something he thinks about much, more a small thought that picks at him from time to time. He's seen it here and there — the looks Cisco gives him, his tone when it comes to Thawne or anything surrounding him, how the subject will change and he'll not want to talk about it. Harrison is fairly certain there was something there once, something he'd be better off not knowing about. And then, part of him wants to lean in and whisper a simple truth to him: "I'll never be the man you want me to be."
Harrison shakes his head at the thought, leaning back and examining Cisco curiously. ]
no subject
But who would that lie be for? Cisco has never cared to lie to make the people around him more comfortable (the same way he has never been willing to compromise the way he looks, the way he speaks, just to fit in). The lie would be for Harry's good, maybe, but Harry is a grown man, capable of looking after himself. And yes, the lie would be for his own good. But Cisco's never been all that good at resisting things he knows might be bad for him. In fact, he is shockingly bad at it.
Cisco meets Harry's eyes, full-on, unflinching. There is a conviction in that stare, a heat, that isn't just about the science, however much Cisco tries to make it be. ]
Yes. I would.
[ Then, that intensity slips from his look, and he lets some humor creep in, the corner of his mouth curling into a challenging smirk ]
If you think you can keep up with me.
[ Keep up with him when it comes to cutting-edge science, of course. But even as he says it, Cisco hears the unintended innuendo. And then he watches Harry, wondering if it will register for him. Wondering if he has any idea, or if he is totally oblivious, to the way Cisco looks at him sometimes. Can't stop himself from looking ]
no subject
It's a bad idea.
His eyes meet Cisco's briefly and his fingers curl, like he's holding himself back, and he lets out a huff and dips his head. ]
Don't flatter yourself.
[ His voice is dry, a teasing air to it, but he knows it's also an attempt at a pushback. At trying to do the right thing for the both of them. ]
no subject
But Harry's teasing is entirely another thing. It needs no prompting from Cisco, half the time. It is also ruder, more straightforward, more genuine than anything Dr. Wells had ever said to him. If the first man with that face had ever told Cisco not to flatter himself, it would have devastated him. But he's a little older now, a lot less innocent, and Harry hasn't got the same hold over him as Eobard Thawne. ]
Sounds to me like someone who is afraid of a challenge.
[ Cisco keeps looking at Harry - at the stillness of him, the way his hands are held in loose fists. There would be one easy way, to find out. He could kiss him, here and now. Lay it out in the open between them, cut through the crap and the double-talk. His eyes flick down to Harry's mouth and then back up, just for a second.
But he doesn't. Not because he's afraid (well, mostly not). But because it wouldn't be fair to Harry. For once, the power differential between them is tilted in Cisco's favor, and he recognizes it. Harry is staying here because there is nowhere else safe for him, for his daughter. Cisco should not use that to his advantage. Shouldn't make advances that might be unwelcome, make him feel unsafe here.
So a little of that warmth, that audacity, goes out of Cisco. He sets it aside for now and says, in a softer voice ]
You think you can get back to sleep, or you want me to make us some coffee?
no subject
Maybe he is afraid. But it's for a good reason.
Harrison shakes his head, resting his hands on his knees and shifting, ready to get up at any moment. ]
No, I'll try to get back to sleep again. Either I'll manage and it's fine or I won't and I'll have to look into that.
[ He shrugs at that. ]
no subject
[ Cisco is actually glad that Harry is going to try, at least. He's pretty sure that the sleep debt Harry incurred over the last four months of his life still hasn't been made up; besides, if he decided to stay awake, Cisco was obviously going to stay awake with him. When he mentions looking into ways to sleep, if he can't Cisco quirks a smile ]
Well, I think there's some leftover sleeping pills in the medicine cabinet if you want to go for the nuclear option.
[ Of course, the reason Cisco still has them is that he didn't take them when they were prescribed to him, but Harry doesn't need to know that. More quietly, he adds: ]
'Night, Harry.