[ He immediately rolls his eyes when Cisco starts messing with his hair, resisting the urge to reach up and swat at his hand. It helps that he moves his hand down, it feels— well. Good. Better than he has in ages. It's been longer than he'd care to admit, beyond mumbling out excuses about running a company or fatherhood. It's a bit of that, of course, but that's not everything. That's not all of it and he knows it.
Harrison runs his hand through Cisco's hair idly in response, looking mildly amused as Cisco's hand starts to wander. ]
Good. Because this will be complicated. [ A beat. ] Though. We do know complicated forwards and back by now, don't we.
[ It's probably in bad taste to refer to both Thawne and Garrick like that, but he can't help but let his smirk widen at that. In a way, it was a blessing to have two very complicated and, in hindsight, awful people in their past. It put them on even footing, of course, and what a footing that was. But it also was highly unlikely for anything between the two of them to reach the same levels of awfulness, no matter how much they may snipe at one another.
He eyes him idly and when he speaks, his tone holds the same mild amusement that his expression has. ]
[ Cisco inclines his head towards the touch, eyes slipping shut for just a second. He doesn't bother to disguise how much he enjoys even that small bit of contact. Why hide it? He likes having his hair played with, and especially likes that Harry is doing it. ]
I know it will.
[ Cisco doesn't seem to think the comment is in bad taste; after all, humor was what saved him, after everything Eobard Thawne had done. If he hadn't been able to laugh about it, he probably would have had a complete mental breakdown. So he's happy to raise his eyebrows, his expression a mute you can say that again.
When Harry asks what he's doing, Cisco shrugs. It's that or say your ears are kinda cute and he is pretty sure that even at his most tolerant, Harry wouldn't put up with that. So he just smiles, leans in for another lingering kiss, lets his fingers trail down Harry's neck before he settles his hands lightly on Harry's shoulders. ]
At least we know it's complicated from the beginning.
[ Cisco murmurs the words against Harry's mouth, and then, on reflection, adds a little more seriously: ]
And I can promise you, I'm not secretly an evil speedster. Cross my heart.
[ He removes one hand from Harry's shoulder to draw out a quick 'X' over his heart. The gesture is childish, he knows, but that's for the best. They are neither of them ready to really deal with the magnitude of that betrayal, so it's best to keep things light, for now. And Cisco wants him to know that, no matter how well or badly this will go, he can at least be sure of that one thing. ]
[ Harrison gives him a flat look at that last remark and then rolls his eyes. In some — most he thinks in his less generous moments — respects, Cisco lacked a certain amount of maturity. But after everything, Harrison found it almost refreshing in a way.
(after jay garrick.)
He gives a strand of his hair a light tug — nothing too hard that would actually hurt, but just enough to get his attention — and then raises an eyebrow. ]
They are both speedsters, aren't they. That's awful.
[ When he speaks, it's in a soft rasp, like an amused murmur. It's clear that he doesn't think that's too awful, just a terrible yet somewhat hilarious coincidence. He lets out a soft huff, giving him another brief kiss before pulling back slightly to shift his position to something more comfortable. ]
[ The disdain in that look doesn't surprise Cisco one bit, but better that than sadness. Better than the loneliness he'd seen when Harry walked in, better than the fear Harry is so good at hiding.
That tug on his hair does focus his attention. Cisco's pupils dilate perceptibly, and he meets Harry's gaze without a flinch, eyebrows raising ever so slightly. As far as he's concerned, Harry can pull on his hair to his heart's content. ]
Yep. Should've seen it coming, honestly.
[ He tries to keep his voice airy, to keep it a joke, but an edge of bitterness slips into the words unintentionally. If the last few days have taught him anything, it is that there are no good speedsters except Barry. Not the Reverse Flash, not Trajectory, not Zoom, and not Jay fucking Garrick. The next time he meets a new speedster, Cisco has half a mind to cut out the middle parts and just hurl their ass straight into the pipeline. ]
There's a whole buffet of awful similarities, if you stop and think about it. And the funny thing is, Barry didn't want to trust him. He locked him up the moment he showed up, and we had to talk him out of leaving him to rot in a cell. Whereas when you showed up... [ Cisco presses a finger to the center of Harry's chest ] ...Barry was the one who had to talk us into working with you, when all we wanted was to kick your ass to the curb.
[ Cisco huffs out a breath ] Guess we should have given his instincts more credit.
[ Harrison frowns at that. Truth be told, it took a bit of convincing — and very fortunate circumstances — to get Barry to understand him. Granted, "convincing" had basically boiled down to him shooting a giant shark with a pulse laser cannon and then completely defying Barry Allen's expectations of who Harrison Wells was supposed to be, but it all worked out nicely.
Still. Funny, how he turned out to be the trustworthy one while Jay Garrick was anything but. He considers that as he runs a hand through Cisco's hair idly. ]
There's no point in dwelling on it. [ His voice is quiet, but there's a certain resolve to it. ] We'll just throw the next intruder into the pipeline and sort it out later.
[ It's hard to tell if he's joking about that or not. The edges of Harrison's mouth curl up into a slight smirk but other than that, his tone remains flat and matter-of-fact.
He shrugs his shoulders, drawing his hands down to Cisco's arms and rubbing at them lightly briefly. If they keep going down this route, they're only going to get depressed. — well. More depressed than they already were. Harrison pats at one arm before pulling back. ]
[ Whether or not there is a point, Cisco is going to dwell. He knows himself, and he's going to dwell extensively. But right now, with Harry here, talking to him, distracting him... he had something better to do than turn it over and over in his mind. So he sets the thought aside for now, focuses instead on the way Harry touches his arms. Cisco thinks Harry is going to pull him in close, for a moment. But then he is pulling away, and patting his arm awkwardly, and who even does that? What even is that supposed to be?
There's something endearing about the awkwardness of the gesture, though. It is so very Harry, and so very unlike Eobard. Maybe it's a little bit unkind of hm, but Cisco mirrors the gesture, rubs Harry's arms and then pats one, looking up at him with a crooked smile. Teasing, just a touch. Trying to lift a little of the gloom that is pressing in from around them. ]
[ Harrison can easily recognize when he's being sassed by now and immediately raises an eyebrow when Cisco mimics his gesture from moments ago. He's not annoyed, though he can feign it well enough. It's more that . . . well. It's embarrassing to admit just how long it's been, enough that he's back to the age-old problem of "what am I supposed to do with my hands." Aside from the obvious, of course.
He cocks his head to one side, giving him a flat look with no actual heat behind it. In fact, he seems almost amused by it. ]
[ He says it with all the feigned innocence and serenity he can muster, as if he doesn't even know what Harry is talking about. Cisco doesn't stop smirking even as he leans in for another kiss, but the angle is still not ideal. After a moment's indecision, Cisco decides that one of them has to be bold, and that's probably not going to be Harry. Not tonight, anyway.
So he stands up, only to sit back down again, sideways on top of Harry's lap, curling against him. He slides his hands to rest just where Harry's neck meets his shoulders. When Cisco kisses him, though, he keeps it simple, tentative. Tries not to worry about being too heavy, about being too forward.
But of all the things he could be not-worrying about right now, those are vastly preferable to some other options. ]
[ Harrison used up all his boldness for the day just by coming over. He's tired by now and he absolutely looks it, though not tired enough to push Cisco away. He raises an eyebrow briefly when Cisco climbs into his lap but says nothing, drawing his arms around him instead and leans in to meet his kiss. It stays simple, light, though there's no hesitation about it. They could deepen it and he'd be more than fine; it's just casual. Easy. And nice, he quietly adds. Nicer than he'd care to admit out loud.
After a moment, he pulls back just enough to murmur. ]
No problem at all?
[ His lips curl into a smirk again, almost challenging him. ]
What, you want there to be a problem or somethin'?
[ Cisco raises his eyebrows; he could say something about Harry being out of practice, but he thinks better of it. He's not sure whether that is territory it is safe to tease him about, or whether it might stir up some genuine hurt. So instead, he opts for: ]
Just wanted to see if I could make you smile.
[ The words end up coming out a little more earnest than he'd meant them to. Because the truth is he does care, doesn't just want Harry, but wants him to be happy. Or at least, whatever passes for happiness, on a day like today. Cisco goes back to kissing him, a little harder now, not pulling away until his lips have started to feel warm and a bit numb, and he's breathing a little faster than usual. ]
You're not a bad kisser, considering.
[ Considering what, he doesn't say. There's playfulness in his voice, a fondness that undercuts what he actually says. ]
Look, do you... I could probably make out with you all night if you let me. So if you need to sleep, or... or if you want to do anything else, you gotta tell me.
[ There's a dryness to it with a hint of amusement, the only evidence that he's not genuinely offended by any real insinuation there. Though knowing him (and he knows himself all too well these days), that could change at any moment.
He takes in a deep breath, briefly licking at his lips as he gives Cisco a onceover, chest heaving as his breathing steadies with the small break in activity. Harrison lifts one hand to the side of Cisco's face, thumb resting on his cheek while his other fingers slide towards the back of his neck, threading through some of his hair. The truth is . . . well. The truth is that he'd probably let Cisco do just about anything. Do just about anything to him in turn. They're scientists. There's a certain sort of creativity that comes with the territory, in a manner of speaking.
But it's difficult to push the image of Garrick's face, blond hair slick against his face with sweat, breathing heavily as he presses up against him — that and the red-hot feeling of betrayal that boils inside him, makes his teeth grit in annoyance— in anger. The rawness still lingers even as the images slowly fade.
Harrison rubs at Cisco's cheek idly with his thumb, murmuring. ]
This is good for me. ... You'll know if it isn't.
[ He says it in part out of habit, out of how used to being mildly difficult and contrary he is.
But it's alright if they stumble through it. Neither of them really know what the hell they're doing anymore, especially with their stellar choice in partners and general life decisions between the two of them. ]
Considering... [ Cisco clearly casts about for an end to that sentence, smiling a little against Harry's mouth. He settles on: ] Considering how often you wear cardigans.
[ Harry's words reassure Cisco; he relaxes perceptibly. For all that he'd argued with Harry that all of this wouldn't be much more complicated than the relationship they already had, some things really are different. He knows he can count on Harry to make his opinions known - loudly, repeatedly - when they are working in the lab, he also knows that honest interpersonal communication seems to be something he has a very hard time with. He'd had to wrench the words out of himself, earlier, when he said he'd been wrong about the two of them.
But as long as Harry knows that it is his decision, what they do and when they do it, Cisco doesn't have to worry so much. He can go back to running his hands through Harry's hair and kissing him until he feels dizzy. It's a good kind of dizziness, though. ]
Y'know the first time I wanted to do this?
[ Cisco pulls away just enough to speak, pressing his forehead to Harry's, eyes remaining shut ] It was right around Christmas. After we got all those bombs through the breach. I think... I hadn't really ever seen you happy, before that. I looked at you and just thought... [ He trails off, shrugs. ]
[ He stills at that, thumb resting on his cheek, fingers barely touching the back of his neck, and lets out a soft, bitter laugh. It takes him a moment to compose himself and all the willpower he has not to pull away from Cisco. Harrison's not upset, not really, it's just funny in a sad sort of way to him because— ]
That was the night Zoom blackmailed me into betraying all of you.
[ It's a hushed statement, and he averts his eyes in an attempt to mask the guilt and shame that he associates with it all. Christmas. He should have been working with them. He should have trusted them sooner. He knew Cisco could vibe, they could have found a way to work around Zoom's demands together. Instead, he let his pride get the better of him yet again. Predictable.
Harrison glances back towards him after a brief moment, shaking his head. They were past it. Had to be past it. ]
[ Cisco feels the change immediately and worries that he's gone too far, that Harry is about to tease him for being cheesy, and probably he would have it coming. But the sound of that laugh isn't right, for that. It's too brittle, too quiet. And then Harry is talking, and Cisco understands. He'd stumbled on a landmine without realizing it. ]
Oh.
[ Based on his own experience, Harry is going to have a lot more moments like this. Reminders cropping up where he least expected them, memories that seemed settled before coming back and looking entirely different, in the light of new knowledge.
So he isn't sure if it's Harry being angry at himself, or angry at Jay, or ashamed of himself for his choices, or ashamed of himself for not seeing through the deception. It doesn't much matter. The end result is the same, and so is Cisco's next course of action. He takes Harry's face between his hands, waits until Harry is looking at him before he says. ]
Well, turns out you're pretty damn handsome when you're happy.
[ He doesn't know what else to say. He isn't going to tell Harry that it wasn't a big deal, that he'd worked against them, done the things he'd done. But if Cisco isn't going to minimize that betrayal, he isn't going to linger on it, either. What's done was done. ]
[ There were plenty of reminders of that period of time, particularly the ones that had left a physical mark on him. Though the bullet wound from Spivot was slowly starting to fade and the gash he received from being thrown across the room by Grodd was only a faint mark now, the various bruises and injuries Zoom had inflicted on him were still as ugly and fresh as ever. His shoulder had only just stopped being tender recently, though the marks from the burns and the puncture wounds had barely begun to heal over.
Needless to say, there were a few reasons Harrison was taking it slower this time around.
He shifts his gaze back towards Cisco, meeting his eyes for a moment, and then snorts, jarred out of his funk. ]
Really, Ramon?
[ His lips curl into a smirk at that and he shakes his head in mild amusement. Some things had fundamentally shifted between the two of them. Harrison Wells poking fun at Cisco Ramon in his own way was absolutely not one of those things. ]
That's the line you're going with?
[ He doesn't look impressed in the slightest, but there's no real heat behind it. ]
[ Sarcasm is a whole lot better than sadness, at the very least. Cisco isn't worried to give as good as he gets. He knows it was a pretty cheesy line, and some of that had been deliberate. And it had worked, hadn't it? ]
"Why Cisco, that's really flattering, thank you for being honest, it means a lot to me." [ Cisco says the words in a way that is clearly meant to mimic Harry's terse speaking patterns, even takes a hand off Harry's face in order to pretend to push up invisible glasses, in just the same way Harry always adjusts his. Then, switching to his normal voice, filling in both sides of this fake conversation, Cisco goes on: ] Oh, it's nothing, Harry, my pleasure.
[ He finishes it off with a dramatic eye roll, a gesture of disdain that is somewhat undercut by the fact that he dips his head forward and kisses Harry's jaw, works his way along it and then down to Harry's neck. Because Harry might not be the sort to easily accept compliments and corny lines, might not offer his own story of when he first felt attracted to Cisco, but that doesn't mean anything, if he lets Cisco do this. No, not just lets him do it - wants him to.
Cisco keeps his kisses light - much as he would love to give Harry a giant hickey out of spite (and because, well, he'd look rather good with one), he knows it's not a good idea. He's pretty certain Harry isn't going to want to tell anyone about this - maybe not ever, but certainly not in the next few days. So he just moves his mouth against Harry's skin lightly, not pushing him, just looking for any spots that might make him shiver. That would be plenty. ]
[ He rolls his eyes as well at Cisco's response, though that action stops the minute Cisco's lips come in to contact with his neck. Harrison stills as he starts to work his way down, lifting a hand up to the back of Cisco's head and resting it there lightly. After a few seconds, he starts to run his hand through his hair idly again, closing his eyes.
If Ramon wanted him to shut up, well, he found a good way to make it happen.
It isn't until he reaches the base of his neck, right around his collar bone, that Harrison shivers lightly, letting out a soft, almost silent moan of approval. It's not that he's trying to be contrary or suppressing things — the more personal things got for him, the quieter Harrison became, and this extends to all aspects of his life. Garrick had never minded and actually preferred it, since Harrison wasn't able to "ruin" anything with his "big mouth" according to him. On the other hand, it drove her crazy at times as she'd try to goad him into something, anything, give her some sort of direction. But they were all scientists; a certain amount of experimentation came with the territory.
He tilts his head forward slightly, just enough to give the top of his head a soft kiss — a sign of approval. His hand continues to run through Cisco's hair slowly as he threads his fingers through the strands. ]
[ That shiver and small sound might be subtle clues as to Harry's enjoyment, but they are plenty gratifying. Cisco is decidedly less subtle; he hums low in his throat the moment Harry's hand is back in his hair, closes his eyes and just enjoys the sensation. ]
That's really nice.
[ Cisco mouths the words against the tendon of Harry's throat, keeps up the restless kisses, taking note of just which places elicit shivers and little caught breaths, diligent and interested. The kiss to the top of his head catches Cisco off-guard. It's such a surprisingly sweet gesture for Harry that he stills for just a moment hand curling lightly against Harry's shoulder. He draws in a breath like he's going to say something, but then thinks better of it, resumes kissing, makes his way over to the other side of Harry's neck, a little more insistent now, a little more lost in it.
As stridently as Cisco insisted that Harry had nothing to worry about, that it wasn't old memories of another man driving Cisco into his arms, he can't help noticing that, for all the things that are different, Harry's breaths sounds the same, Harry smells the same. And there are a lot of sense memories still there, waiting in the back of Cisco's mind. There are associations there with those sounds and smells which make Cisco's breath quick and his heart race.
So he stops, abruptly, and presses his forehead against the curve of Harry's neck, hiding his face. What he has to say is more than a little mortifying, and he doesn't want to be looking if Harry laughs at him. ]
This is awesome but uh. Maybe we should hit pause. For tonight. Or else I'm, um. I'm gonna get too...
[ Cisco lets out a breath that's gone shaky, shrugs. Hopefully, Harry will take it as a compliment, and not judge him for being too excitable. It's not his fault, really. He's young, has a high libido by nature, and it's been a while. But Harry wants to take it slow and Cisco knows that that's probably best. So he's putting on the brakes now, before things come close to getting out of hand. ]
[ He can't help it. A smirk crosses his face and though he doesn't audibly laugh, Cisco can probably feel a silent chuckle escape Harrison's throat. He wasn't surprised though. In all honesty, he saw this coming a mile away and, in fairness, he had warned Ramon. If he were twenty years younger, maybe he could — or would — match his . . . enthusiasm. But he wasn't in his twenties anymore and he certainly wasn't secretly a speedster, so.
Harrison keeps one hand in Cisco's hair, giving his shoulder a pat with the other as he rolls his eyes. ]
The only surprise, Ramon, is that you actually knew when to stop.
[ His tone is dry, but there's a hint of amusement there. With a huff, he starts to shift his positioning on the couch. ]
[ The smugness in Harry's voice and the feel of that soundless chuckle make Cisco's face go hot, part embarrassment and part something that is definitely not embarrassment at all. Which is maybe a bit messed up, but Cisco's never claimed to not be messed up. All in all, he's glad when Harry moves. Cisco takes that as his cue to pull away, to stand up and put a little necessary space between them, for a moment or two.
He looks at the clock and sees what time it is, and it's shocking to him that it's not hours later. It feels like 4 AM, but then, they've both had rather long days, all things considered. ]
Are you cool with sharing the bed? [ Cisco doesn't disguise the hope in that question. He will take the couch if Harry prefers it that way, but it would be nice, not to be alone. ] Promise I'll keep my hands to myself. [ Then, because he can't resist. ] This time, anyway.
[ When Cisco pulls away to stand, Harrison drops his hands into his lap, clasping them together as he glances up at him with interest. An idle smirk crosses his face upon seeing how red Cisco had turned. He may have young age and stamina on his side, but Harrison had all his life experience in his back pocket — something that was starting to look more and more beneficial by the minute.
At that last question, Harrison raises an eyebrow. He'd already said he planned on staying over; he'd thought the implication was clear enough. ]
I'm not twelve, Ramon. We can share the bed.
[ And with that, he stands, brushing past Cisco to head into his room. It's mostly out of impatience, to make it clear that there's no point in tiptoeing around him if this is going to work. They'll push at one another; that's what they've always done, for better or worse.
He ignores whatever state Cisco's left his room in, only briefly raising an eyebrow again. ]
[ Cisco follows after him, and Harry's pushiness and brusqueness strangely set him at ease. The transition is going to be weird, for both of them. But if the weirdness level stays where it is, Cisco thinks they'll get through it.
So he doesn't make apologies for the mild disorder of his room, doesn't check with Harry or even look at him before he's kicking off his shoes, swapping out his jeans for sweatpants, and crawling under the sheets.
Much as Harry might act like sharing a bed is no big deal, Cisco's heart beats faster as he waits for Harry to join him. Between the revelation about Zoom and sharing a bed with Harry for the first time, Cisco's pretty sure he's not actually going to get all that much sleep. But having Harry here is far better than the alternative. So, even though he knows it might get him an eyeroll, Cisco pulls the blanket up to his nose and says, voice muffled ]
[ Harrison kicks off his shoes and tugs his long-sleeved shirt off as well, leaving only his black undershirt. He glances back over at Cisco as he pulls at his socks, balling them up and tossing them over with his shoes, and the corners of his mouth twitch into a half smile. At the end of the day, it's a welcome distraction from the shit show that preceeded all of it.
He pulls the blankets on the other side of the bed back after a moment and settles in carefully. He'd been used to sleeping alone for so long, curled up on his side on his sad little cot in the labs or wherever, that it's almost foreign to him, slipping into bed with someone else. He's not completely solitary despite how he may seem, but Harrison isn't exactly one to cuddle or anything either.
Still, Cisco's muffled statement breaks the ice neatly enough and Harrison lets out a soft, huffy laugh, glancing over at him. ]
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franciscoramon) wrote2015-02-21 01:38 am
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Harrison runs his hand through Cisco's hair idly in response, looking mildly amused as Cisco's hand starts to wander. ]
Good. Because this will be complicated. [ A beat. ] Though. We do know complicated forwards and back by now, don't we.
[ It's probably in bad taste to refer to both Thawne and Garrick like that, but he can't help but let his smirk widen at that. In a way, it was a blessing to have two very complicated and, in hindsight, awful people in their past. It put them on even footing, of course, and what a footing that was. But it also was highly unlikely for anything between the two of them to reach the same levels of awfulness, no matter how much they may snipe at one another.
He eyes him idly and when he speaks, his tone holds the same mild amusement that his expression has. ]
What are you doing?
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I know it will.
[ Cisco doesn't seem to think the comment is in bad taste; after all, humor was what saved him, after everything Eobard Thawne had done. If he hadn't been able to laugh about it, he probably would have had a complete mental breakdown. So he's happy to raise his eyebrows, his expression a mute you can say that again.
When Harry asks what he's doing, Cisco shrugs. It's that or say your ears are kinda cute and he is pretty sure that even at his most tolerant, Harry wouldn't put up with that. So he just smiles, leans in for another lingering kiss, lets his fingers trail down Harry's neck before he settles his hands lightly on Harry's shoulders. ]
At least we know it's complicated from the beginning.
[ Cisco murmurs the words against Harry's mouth, and then, on reflection, adds a little more seriously: ]
And I can promise you, I'm not secretly an evil speedster. Cross my heart.
[ He removes one hand from Harry's shoulder to draw out a quick 'X' over his heart. The gesture is childish, he knows, but that's for the best. They are neither of them ready to really deal with the magnitude of that betrayal, so it's best to keep things light, for now. And Cisco wants him to know that, no matter how well or badly this will go, he can at least be sure of that one thing. ]
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(after jay garrick.)
He gives a strand of his hair a light tug — nothing too hard that would actually hurt, but just enough to get his attention — and then raises an eyebrow. ]
They are both speedsters, aren't they. That's awful.
[ When he speaks, it's in a soft rasp, like an amused murmur. It's clear that he doesn't think that's too awful, just a terrible yet somewhat hilarious coincidence. He lets out a soft huff, giving him another brief kiss before pulling back slightly to shift his position to something more comfortable. ]
no subject
That tug on his hair does focus his attention. Cisco's pupils dilate perceptibly, and he meets Harry's gaze without a flinch, eyebrows raising ever so slightly. As far as he's concerned, Harry can pull on his hair to his heart's content. ]
Yep. Should've seen it coming, honestly.
[ He tries to keep his voice airy, to keep it a joke, but an edge of bitterness slips into the words unintentionally. If the last few days have taught him anything, it is that there are no good speedsters except Barry. Not the Reverse Flash, not Trajectory, not Zoom, and not Jay fucking Garrick. The next time he meets a new speedster, Cisco has half a mind to cut out the middle parts and just hurl their ass straight into the pipeline. ]
There's a whole buffet of awful similarities, if you stop and think about it. And the funny thing is, Barry didn't want to trust him. He locked him up the moment he showed up, and we had to talk him out of leaving him to rot in a cell. Whereas when you showed up... [ Cisco presses a finger to the center of Harry's chest ] ...Barry was the one who had to talk us into working with you, when all we wanted was to kick your ass to the curb.
[ Cisco huffs out a breath ] Guess we should have given his instincts more credit.
no subject
Still. Funny, how he turned out to be the trustworthy one while Jay Garrick was anything but. He considers that as he runs a hand through Cisco's hair idly. ]
There's no point in dwelling on it. [ His voice is quiet, but there's a certain resolve to it. ] We'll just throw the next intruder into the pipeline and sort it out later.
[ It's hard to tell if he's joking about that or not. The edges of Harrison's mouth curl up into a slight smirk but other than that, his tone remains flat and matter-of-fact.
He shrugs his shoulders, drawing his hands down to Cisco's arms and rubbing at them lightly briefly. If they keep going down this route, they're only going to get depressed. — well. More depressed than they already were. Harrison pats at one arm before pulling back. ]
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There's something endearing about the awkwardness of the gesture, though. It is so very Harry, and so very unlike Eobard. Maybe it's a little bit unkind of hm, but Cisco mirrors the gesture, rubs Harry's arms and then pats one, looking up at him with a crooked smile. Teasing, just a touch. Trying to lift a little of the gloom that is pressing in from around them. ]
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He cocks his head to one side, giving him a flat look with no actual heat behind it. In fact, he seems almost amused by it. ]
What. Is there a problem, Ramon?
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[ He says it with all the feigned innocence and serenity he can muster, as if he doesn't even know what Harry is talking about. Cisco doesn't stop smirking even as he leans in for another kiss, but the angle is still not ideal. After a moment's indecision, Cisco decides that one of them has to be bold, and that's probably not going to be Harry. Not tonight, anyway.
So he stands up, only to sit back down again, sideways on top of Harry's lap, curling against him. He slides his hands to rest just where Harry's neck meets his shoulders. When Cisco kisses him, though, he keeps it simple, tentative. Tries not to worry about being too heavy, about being too forward.
But of all the things he could be not-worrying about right now, those are vastly preferable to some other options. ]
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After a moment, he pulls back just enough to murmur. ]
No problem at all?
[ His lips curl into a smirk again, almost challenging him. ]
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[ Cisco raises his eyebrows; he could say something about Harry being out of practice, but he thinks better of it. He's not sure whether that is territory it is safe to tease him about, or whether it might stir up some genuine hurt. So instead, he opts for: ]
Just wanted to see if I could make you smile.
[ The words end up coming out a little more earnest than he'd meant them to. Because the truth is he does care, doesn't just want Harry, but wants him to be happy. Or at least, whatever passes for happiness, on a day like today. Cisco goes back to kissing him, a little harder now, not pulling away until his lips have started to feel warm and a bit numb, and he's breathing a little faster than usual. ]
You're not a bad kisser, considering.
[ Considering what, he doesn't say. There's playfulness in his voice, a fondness that undercuts what he actually says. ]
Look, do you... I could probably make out with you all night if you let me. So if you need to sleep, or... or if you want to do anything else, you gotta tell me.
no subject
[ There's a dryness to it with a hint of amusement, the only evidence that he's not genuinely offended by any real insinuation there. Though knowing him (and he knows himself all too well these days), that could change at any moment.
He takes in a deep breath, briefly licking at his lips as he gives Cisco a onceover, chest heaving as his breathing steadies with the small break in activity. Harrison lifts one hand to the side of Cisco's face, thumb resting on his cheek while his other fingers slide towards the back of his neck, threading through some of his hair. The truth is . . . well. The truth is that he'd probably let Cisco do just about anything. Do just about anything to him in turn. They're scientists. There's a certain sort of creativity that comes with the territory, in a manner of speaking.
But it's difficult to push the image of Garrick's face, blond hair slick against his face with sweat, breathing heavily as he presses up against him — that and the red-hot feeling of betrayal that boils inside him, makes his teeth grit in annoyance— in anger. The rawness still lingers even as the images slowly fade.
Harrison rubs at Cisco's cheek idly with his thumb, murmuring. ]
This is good for me. ... You'll know if it isn't.
[ He says it in part out of habit, out of how used to being mildly difficult and contrary he is.
But it's alright if they stumble through it. Neither of them really know what the hell they're doing anymore, especially with their stellar choice in partners and general life decisions between the two of them. ]
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[ Harry's words reassure Cisco; he relaxes perceptibly. For all that he'd argued with Harry that all of this wouldn't be much more complicated than the relationship they already had, some things really are different. He knows he can count on Harry to make his opinions known - loudly, repeatedly - when they are working in the lab, he also knows that honest interpersonal communication seems to be something he has a very hard time with. He'd had to wrench the words out of himself, earlier, when he said he'd been wrong about the two of them.
But as long as Harry knows that it is his decision, what they do and when they do it, Cisco doesn't have to worry so much. He can go back to running his hands through Harry's hair and kissing him until he feels dizzy. It's a good kind of dizziness, though. ]
Y'know the first time I wanted to do this?
[ Cisco pulls away just enough to speak, pressing his forehead to Harry's, eyes remaining shut ] It was right around Christmas. After we got all those bombs through the breach. I think... I hadn't really ever seen you happy, before that. I looked at you and just thought... [ He trails off, shrugs. ]
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That was the night Zoom blackmailed me into betraying all of you.
[ It's a hushed statement, and he averts his eyes in an attempt to mask the guilt and shame that he associates with it all. Christmas. He should have been working with them. He should have trusted them sooner. He knew Cisco could vibe, they could have found a way to work around Zoom's demands together. Instead, he let his pride get the better of him yet again. Predictable.
Harrison glances back towards him after a brief moment, shaking his head. They were past it. Had to be past it. ]
But. I was happy, before that.
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Oh.
[ Based on his own experience, Harry is going to have a lot more moments like this. Reminders cropping up where he least expected them, memories that seemed settled before coming back and looking entirely different, in the light of new knowledge.
So he isn't sure if it's Harry being angry at himself, or angry at Jay, or ashamed of himself for his choices, or ashamed of himself for not seeing through the deception. It doesn't much matter. The end result is the same, and so is Cisco's next course of action. He takes Harry's face between his hands, waits until Harry is looking at him before he says. ]
Well, turns out you're pretty damn handsome when you're happy.
[ He doesn't know what else to say. He isn't going to tell Harry that it wasn't a big deal, that he'd worked against them, done the things he'd done. But if Cisco isn't going to minimize that betrayal, he isn't going to linger on it, either. What's done was done. ]
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Needless to say, there were a few reasons Harrison was taking it slower this time around.
He shifts his gaze back towards Cisco, meeting his eyes for a moment, and then snorts, jarred out of his funk. ]
Really, Ramon?
[ His lips curl into a smirk at that and he shakes his head in mild amusement. Some things had fundamentally shifted between the two of them. Harrison Wells poking fun at Cisco Ramon in his own way was absolutely not one of those things. ]
That's the line you're going with?
[ He doesn't look impressed in the slightest, but there's no real heat behind it. ]
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"Why Cisco, that's really flattering, thank you for being honest, it means a lot to me." [ Cisco says the words in a way that is clearly meant to mimic Harry's terse speaking patterns, even takes a hand off Harry's face in order to pretend to push up invisible glasses, in just the same way Harry always adjusts his. Then, switching to his normal voice, filling in both sides of this fake conversation, Cisco goes on: ] Oh, it's nothing, Harry, my pleasure.
[ He finishes it off with a dramatic eye roll, a gesture of disdain that is somewhat undercut by the fact that he dips his head forward and kisses Harry's jaw, works his way along it and then down to Harry's neck. Because Harry might not be the sort to easily accept compliments and corny lines, might not offer his own story of when he first felt attracted to Cisco, but that doesn't mean anything, if he lets Cisco do this. No, not just lets him do it - wants him to.
Cisco keeps his kisses light - much as he would love to give Harry a giant hickey out of spite (and because, well, he'd look rather good with one), he knows it's not a good idea. He's pretty certain Harry isn't going to want to tell anyone about this - maybe not ever, but certainly not in the next few days. So he just moves his mouth against Harry's skin lightly, not pushing him, just looking for any spots that might make him shiver. That would be plenty. ]
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If Ramon wanted him to shut up, well, he found a good way to make it happen.
It isn't until he reaches the base of his neck, right around his collar bone, that Harrison shivers lightly, letting out a soft, almost silent moan of approval. It's not that he's trying to be contrary or suppressing things — the more personal things got for him, the quieter Harrison became, and this extends to all aspects of his life. Garrick had never minded and actually preferred it, since Harrison wasn't able to "ruin" anything with his "big mouth" according to him. On the other hand, it drove her crazy at times as she'd try to goad him into something, anything, give her some sort of direction. But they were all scientists; a certain amount of experimentation came with the territory.
He tilts his head forward slightly, just enough to give the top of his head a soft kiss — a sign of approval. His hand continues to run through Cisco's hair slowly as he threads his fingers through the strands. ]
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That's really nice.
[ Cisco mouths the words against the tendon of Harry's throat, keeps up the restless kisses, taking note of just which places elicit shivers and little caught breaths, diligent and interested. The kiss to the top of his head catches Cisco off-guard. It's such a surprisingly sweet gesture for Harry that he stills for just a moment hand curling lightly against Harry's shoulder. He draws in a breath like he's going to say something, but then thinks better of it, resumes kissing, makes his way over to the other side of Harry's neck, a little more insistent now, a little more lost in it.
As stridently as Cisco insisted that Harry had nothing to worry about, that it wasn't old memories of another man driving Cisco into his arms, he can't help noticing that, for all the things that are different, Harry's breaths sounds the same, Harry smells the same. And there are a lot of sense memories still there, waiting in the back of Cisco's mind. There are associations there with those sounds and smells which make Cisco's breath quick and his heart race.
So he stops, abruptly, and presses his forehead against the curve of Harry's neck, hiding his face. What he has to say is more than a little mortifying, and he doesn't want to be looking if Harry laughs at him. ]
This is awesome but uh. Maybe we should hit pause. For tonight. Or else I'm, um. I'm gonna get too...
[ Cisco lets out a breath that's gone shaky, shrugs. Hopefully, Harry will take it as a compliment, and not judge him for being too excitable. It's not his fault, really. He's young, has a high libido by nature, and it's been a while. But Harry wants to take it slow and Cisco knows that that's probably best. So he's putting on the brakes now, before things come close to getting out of hand. ]
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[ He can't help it. A smirk crosses his face and though he doesn't audibly laugh, Cisco can probably feel a silent chuckle escape Harrison's throat. He wasn't surprised though. In all honesty, he saw this coming a mile away and, in fairness, he had warned Ramon. If he were twenty years younger, maybe he could — or would — match his . . . enthusiasm. But he wasn't in his twenties anymore and he certainly wasn't secretly a speedster, so.
Harrison keeps one hand in Cisco's hair, giving his shoulder a pat with the other as he rolls his eyes. ]
The only surprise, Ramon, is that you actually knew when to stop.
[ His tone is dry, but there's a hint of amusement there. With a huff, he starts to shift his positioning on the couch. ]
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He looks at the clock and sees what time it is, and it's shocking to him that it's not hours later. It feels like 4 AM, but then, they've both had rather long days, all things considered. ]
Are you cool with sharing the bed? [ Cisco doesn't disguise the hope in that question. He will take the couch if Harry prefers it that way, but it would be nice, not to be alone. ] Promise I'll keep my hands to myself. [ Then, because he can't resist. ] This time, anyway.
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At that last question, Harrison raises an eyebrow. He'd already said he planned on staying over; he'd thought the implication was clear enough. ]
I'm not twelve, Ramon. We can share the bed.
[ And with that, he stands, brushing past Cisco to head into his room. It's mostly out of impatience, to make it clear that there's no point in tiptoeing around him if this is going to work. They'll push at one another; that's what they've always done, for better or worse.
He ignores whatever state Cisco's left his room in, only briefly raising an eyebrow again. ]
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So he doesn't make apologies for the mild disorder of his room, doesn't check with Harry or even look at him before he's kicking off his shoes, swapping out his jeans for sweatpants, and crawling under the sheets.
Much as Harry might act like sharing a bed is no big deal, Cisco's heart beats faster as he waits for Harry to join him. Between the revelation about Zoom and sharing a bed with Harry for the first time, Cisco's pretty sure he's not actually going to get all that much sleep. But having Harry here is far better than the alternative. So, even though he knows it might get him an eyeroll, Cisco pulls the blanket up to his nose and says, voice muffled ]
I'm glad you're here.
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He pulls the blankets on the other side of the bed back after a moment and settles in carefully. He'd been used to sleeping alone for so long, curled up on his side on his sad little cot in the labs or wherever, that it's almost foreign to him, slipping into bed with someone else. He's not completely solitary despite how he may seem, but Harrison isn't exactly one to cuddle or anything either.
Still, Cisco's muffled statement breaks the ice neatly enough and Harrison lets out a soft, huffy laugh, glancing over at him. ]
Yeah.