franciscoramon | riverview ∆ ic inbox ∆ @ciscodelamancha

what????

[ Just when he thinks this place can't get any weirder... ]

are you okay?
does it hurt?
did somebody curse you or something? did you arrest a sorcerer or some shit?
do you need to go to the doctor?

It hurt at first, just a little when they were coming out through the skin. No blood or anything, and now it's just heavy, it's giving me a headache.

Nothing like that.

The guys at the station are laughing at me. :( I guess this happens around this time of year?

okay i did a quick check of the news and social media
definitely is not just happening to you
apparently it's a freaking epidemic
something about holding grudges?

anyway it looks like it's not dangerous
that's the most important thing

[ Cisco is breathing a sigh of relief, at least. And he's grateful that he seems to have escaped whatever it is causing these changes ~~or so he thinks~~. ]

wow, what assholes
tell them if you hear one more laugh they're gonna answer to me
and i fight dirty
i will ruin them
i am dead serious

[ Nobody bullies Cisco's boyfriend and gets away with it!!! ]

Yeah I get the feeling it's a regular thing? They're mostly laughing because they forgot how new I am, I think?

[They're not. Eddie just likes to think the best of his coworkers.]

Besides the headache. We're gonna need to invest in some painkillers. These things are ridiculous Cisco. :( They're huge.

[That last bit catches him off-guard.]

You're the best. Just the offer helps a lot.

is it terrible if i ask for a pic?
i'm having a hard time visualizing it

i can swing by the hospital and see if beverly has anything a step up from the otc stuff

that's not an offer it's a promise
you tell those scrubs to watch themselves
👆🏽 👀 👉🏽
got my eyes on them

I guess...

[A few moments later, and Eddie sends a selfie of himself in his usual suit for work, sporting a pair of ram-like horns and an embarrassed sheepish expression on his face.]

I look awful. And I wouldn't mind if you checked with Beverly about painkillers. I can tell this is gonna get old fast.

...Cisco, you always make me smile.

[And another selfie, this time of Eddie with the horns but smiling.]

[ Cisco is surprised when he first sees the picture. Eddie hadn't been kidding - those things are huge. Definitely going to get those painkillers for him, and look into ways to fix the problem more permanently.

But for the time being... ]

uhhh listen
maybe i'm a total freak for saying it but i'ma just say it:
you definitely don't look awful

[The few moments it takes for Cisco to reply seem to drag on forever. Eddie practically holds his breath, because he's feeling really self-conscious about the way he looks and if Cisco doesn't like it, that's a big problem. Who knows when this will go away?

But then Cisco texts back that he might be a freak but Eddie doesn't look awful.]

You're just saying that to make me feel better.

trust me, babe
i'm really, really not.

like you don't even wanna know the first thing i thought
okay the second thing i thought because the first was 'damn no wonder he has a headache'

I dunno. I have massive HORNS on my head like I'm some kind of ungainly mountain goat. I hope I don't get a scraggly goat-hair beard too. :(

Actually I do want to know.

you don't look like a GOAT silly
you're rocking that 'renaissance painting of satan done by a dude who was definitely a lil too into the male form' look

for real though you're gonna judge me
are you SURE

I feel like I look like a goat. Mmmaaah. :(

Definitely not a renaissance painting. I have HORNS. Maybe like a horror movie of some kind. I could be a special effect if you splattered red on me. :( :( :(

I'm not ever going to judge you Cisco. <3

🐐 🚫
not a goat

alright if you must know my second thought was:
would it make his headaches worse if i held onto those
you know for like
leverage

I guess I could be a ram. A ram is maybe a bit better, but still just a different kind of goat.

[The second text comes a few moments later.]

Oh.

Leverage, huh?

or just a dude with horns
there's loads of species with horns and tails and extra eyes and all kinds of stuff here
i bet nobody who hasn't met you before even blinks

yeah. told you.
i'm just being real with you, you wanted to know
just remember your very recent promise not to judge me

Yeah. I guess you're right. I just have no idea how I'm gonna style my hair, and I guess it's all button up shirts for now, huh?

No, no, I like it.
You're making me feel much much better.
Carry on.

oh, yeah, i hadn't even thought of that
guess that makes the gym kinda hard, huh?
you could always work out at home and skip the shirt entirely
just saying

okay, well, in that case
DO you think it would make your headache words cuz um
i may have some ideas

I have been thinking of making an at-home gym in Yuri's old room, with a pull up bar and a squat rack and stuff. I'd be okay with that.

It probably would. But I think the positive effects of your ideas might, you know, sufficiently offset that particular drawback.

hell yeah, you should definitely do that
that way you don't have to leave on weekends when the weather's bad or whatever

i'm imagining the positive effects would be very, very good
listen i'm just saying
let's say hypothetically for some reason if i were pinned against a wall
those horns would be convenient to hang onto
hypothetically speaking

Edited 2018-02-09 05:32 (UTC)

And you can, conveniently, watch me work out in our very home. (I still don't totally get why you like that. I'm so gross when I work out.)

[He kind of gets it. But he loves to hear Cisco say why.]

Hypothetically speaking, I think they might be really helpful and convenient if I were pinned against a wall too. I mean, if you pull them, my head goes right along with them...

i was trying to sound altruistic way to blow my cover!

and what's not to like?
nothing gross about a hot guy getting a little sweaty
plus you do that thing sometimes where you wipe your face with the bottom of your shirt
and pull it up just for a second without really thinking about it
that's like... absurdly hot

that hypothetical also sounds pretty great, too
there's so many options........

I'm okay sacrificing some altruism in favor of a bit of an ego stroke, okay?

Is that absurdly hot? Seriously? Usually I just do it and think 'ugh I should've gotten a sweatband even though they're painfully 80s.'

So many. I think we should explore as many of them as possible.

okay fine then yes
i would also get to ogle you while you work out, which is a definite bonus

seriously
it is straight up thirst bait and you've got no clue
which is half of why it's so sexy, you don't even realize what you're doing
but what you're doing is flashing some abs and then acting like nothing happened
it's very cruel honestly

i think we absolutely should
i mean of course we're gonna have to figure out what's causing them and how to fix it but
no reason not to enjoy ourselves a little first, right?

I don't know how you don't consider that altruistic. It's really great for my self-esteem, you know. Having someone who looks like you ogle me.

Well, now that you put it that way, I might just do it more often. And neglect to get myself a sweatband on my next sports store trip.

No reason at ALL. So um. Maybe on my lunch break?

okay then awesome, it's like a feedback loop of good things
you get self-esteem, i get eye-candy
win-win scenario

or you can get yourself a sweat band for all those times you're at the regular gym and just conveniently forget it any time i'm around
i wouldn't want to deny you the proper equipment just because i'm incorrigible.
you know i still got that sweat band from pole dancing?
it's pretty hot pink tho you might wanna get yourself a different one

lunch break
damn, you must be feeling pretty horny, huh?
😏

ok that was the one time i'll make that pun i swear
noon sounds good
otherwise i'm not gonna get shit done today
much too distracted looking @ that picture thinking about the possibilities

(no subject)

causational - 2018-03-11 01:13 (UTC) - Expand