franciscoramon | riverview ∆ ic inbox ∆ @ciscodelamancha

[ Even if Cisco were busy (which he isn't), he would drop anything short of a life-or-death crisis to make sure his friend is alright. Fortunately, though, he's at a lull between projects today, and can answer honestly: ]

i'm the literal opposite of busy dude
i'll be there in fifteen

[ That will give him time to pick up supplies also leave him some time to think about the situation, himself. He can't help but feel a small measure of guilt, as he's making his way towards Taako's place. He'd encouraged Taako to pursue a relationship with Rin, to take a leap of faith and go for it, despite the risks. And now, it had ended so abruptly, and no matter how casual Taako might act, that's got to hurt.

Cisco sighs, trying to bundle up that feeling of culpability and confusion over why Rin would want to leave this place at all, and set those feelings aside. He needs to shelve his own shit, if he's going to be there for Taako.

He buys a big bottle of cupcake-flavored vodka, a can of whipped cream, and two pints of ice cream. When he knocks on the door, he holds up the bag, a small and rather sad smile at the corner of his mouth as he says: ]

I got a delivery here for, is it Tayko? Are you Mr. Tayko?

[ Not his best joke, riffing on the fact that people have a hard time pronouncing Taako's name at first, but it seemed harmless enough. ]

[There's not a whole lot for Taako to do while he waits; he's already dressed, in an outfit that would rival the best instagram-addicted college student's attempt at comfy chic, helped out by the extravagant braid that Lup did for him a few hours ago. The apartment is tidy, for them, and while it's normally a default for Taako to prepare some sort of food before he has company, he's just not feeling it right now.

It leaves him sort of uselessly puttering around until he hears the knock on the door, making him even more grateful for the distraction that Cisco's presence will provide.

He looks - fine, when he opens the door, but that's about as good as it gets, and his smile at that joke is a little wan.]

It's Taako, actually, like the food in a tortilla.

[Which he pronounces tor-til-a, because that's the perfect mispronunciation revenge.]

Come on in, pumpkin.

Edited (gently fusses) 2018-02-09 03:46 (UTC)

[ Cisco gives an only very slightly exaggerated wince of pain at that pronunciation, stepping inside and making his way in. He grabs two spoons and two glasses from the kitchen and then settles himself down on the couch easily, having long since lost any sense of awkwardness around being in this space. It's like a second home to him, at this point. He sets out the ice cream, vodka, and whipped cream. ]

Hey, remember when I'd known you for like, two minutes, not even that, and I asked if you were named after the food?

[ It's strange, thinking back to those days. He'd been so nervous, wanting to make a good impression on this guy his friend was kind of dating, being confused at why Taako was being so nice to him, wanted to hang out with him. They'd come a long way, since then. Cisco twists off the cap of the vodka, pouring a little into each glass. ]

So, listen. I know I said I wasn't gonna ask a bunch of questions, and I totally meant that. I just got one, and... an offer, I guess. Did he leave anything of his? 'Cause... i mean, technically it's maybe a bit creepy, but, if you ever wanted, I could, you know, vibe. Check in, see how he's doing. Maybe even figure out how to get a message over.

[ Possibly an offer that will make things worse, if what Taako was looking for was closure. But he also doesn't know... what sort of terms they'd parted on. Maybe Taako's in more of a 'good riddance' place, right now. He just wanted to make that offer, for any point in the future. ]

[This is why he called Cisco; it's do much easier with someone who's comfortable in their place, who can get himself organised and fill the silence with idle chatter while Taako does his best to keep his composure. He settles down on the couch beside Cisco, not quite close enough to touch because it's better if he keeps some space.

And then Cisco drops that question on him and Taako hesitates for only a moment before shaking his head.]

Not-- not right now, maybe not uh, ever. I appreciate it, for sure, but I can make a pretty solid guess at how Rin would feel about that.

[It's too invasive.

Or maybe Taako's just scared that he'd only see horrible things.]

[ Cisco just nods, reaching forward to pull the lids off the ice cream pints; he would have been surprised, if Taako had said yes to his offer, but he wanted to make it, regardless. Maybe Taako would change his mind someday, maybe he wouldn't. Either way, Cisco's powers are at his disposal.

The fact that Taako's basing his decision at least partly on Rin's comfort suggests his departure hadn't been acrimonious, at least. That's one thing. Though Cisco knows a really nasty breakup has some advantages. Anger is so much easier than sadness. ]

Gotcha.

[ Taako might not be crying, might not be raging or ranting, but Cisco can tell he's not doing great. On him, sadness just looks subdued. He gets quieter, stiller. So he fills up that silence, trying to steer away from any obviously painful topics: ]

Speaking of vibes, I've been practicing, you know, and I saw the wildest shit yesterday...

[ And Cisco launches into a long, fairly aimless story about how he'd accidentally discovered that the Riverview fire department was apparently a seething den of infidelity, betrayal, and sin, to a degree that approached telenovella levels. It's a good story for the situation: juicy gossip involving no one Taako knew, but unimportant enough that if he wants to tune it out while he gets his drink on, he won't be missing anything essential.

When Cisco comes to the end of the story, he concludes: ]

...anyway, that's why I just don't get straight people.

[Taako, a chef, claims his vodka and immediately scoops a spoonful of ice cream into the glass to accompany it, adding a little bit of whipped cream on top, like a fucked up affogato. It's probably an affront to some god somewhere, but he's just essentially had a break up even if it wasn't technically a break up and he thinks he's allowed to make weird food combinations for himself if he wants.

It tastes nice, anyway, and it requires enough focus to eat that he can look at that instead of Cisco, while listening to what would normally be a very good story. He can enjoy it for what it is, a distraction, but he's not in the right frame of mind to really dig into it.

Still, he can manage a little bit of Taakoness.]

I've never met a straight person in my life and I don't plan to.

[Possibly untrue???]

[ That comment surprises a laugh from Cisco; he shakes his head, smiling, and tries to copy what Taako had done with his drink with his own. He probably doesn't get the proportions of ice cream and whipped cream to vodka just right, but it's a hard combo to mess up too badly.

He looks sideways at Taako, accidentally catches a glimpse of his expression while he didn't think Cisco was looking. It's not abjectly miserable, no, but there's something so... lost-looking, in his eyes, that makes Cisco's chest hurt. Taako didn't deserve this. Not after everything he'd already been through.

Unfairly, he wonders how Rin could be so selfish. Charming Taako, making him open himself up, be vulnerable even though that's not easy for him, and then just up and leaving? Who the hell even did that?! ]

I don't know when Lup's due back but, um... I can stay as long as you'd like.

[It's hardly a surprising offer, not coming from Cisco, who might as well have considerate as a middle name, but it's nice that Taako doesn't have to ask, or at least find a way to vaguely suggest it.]

She didn't give me an exact time so if you've got nowhere to be you can hang.

[He'll still be kind of vague about it, though, rather than directly admit that he'd like Cisco to stay. The pretense feels a bit stupid, considering how open Cisco is about his own shit and how many conversations they've had about stupid feelings.

Including the one that led to Taako even admitting that he liked Rin and-- oh.]

Hey, uh, you're not like-- you don't feel guilty, right? That you egged me on to start things with Rin and it ended like this?

[ Cisco understands the reasons for that equivocal 'can hang' and the caveat of 'if you've got nowhere to be'. He might not know the details of what Rin was getting back to, but whatever it was, Rin had picked it over staying with Taako any longer. So, right now, Taako's probably feeling like he's not automatically a top priority for the people he cares about. Not like he does usually, when he's in a good mood, and will breezily just commandeer an entire afternoon from Cisco, sweep him up in some new impromptu adventure.

But Cisco isn't going anywhere right now. ]

Excellent. Then I'm not gonna hold back on the vodka.

[ He punctuates this by tipping a little more of the stuff into his glass, and then Taako's as well.

That question surprises Cisco; Taako clearly knows him much too well for him to get away with a lie. It's inconvenient, sometimes, having a friend who understands the patterns of his thoughts and emotions with such precision. Cisco gives a tiny shrug, looking down at his fingers as he scrapes as a cuticle, which is obviously a yes. Then he's feeling guilty for feeling guilty, when Taako's working so hard to pretend the whole thing is no big deal, which is a fun ouroboros to be stuck in. ]

Only a little. I know that it's not, like, about me. Like, I get that. I just- I don't know. I feel like I led you astray, kinda.

[ Or at the very least, that he should have looked into Rin more before he gave that foolishly romantic advice. He'd been lax, hadn't done his due diligence... ]

[There are a handful of ways to respond to that, the most obvious being to point out that he's an adult who can make his own decisions, so Cisco isn't to blame for what Taako chose. Or that the only person responsible for his happiness is himself, not anyone else. But while they're the truth, it's not the real truth.]

I don't regret it.

[That's the truth. If he could go back and give himself advice, he wouldn't avoid it.]

This- this sucks, no doubt, but what we were worked cause we both had something more important. And I'm not like, that's not me getting down on myself or whatever, it's just the way it was. I knew that, I was okay with it.

[This is always how it was going to end, one way or another. Taako or Rin leaving, because they had to be with their sisters.]

[ Cisco believes Taako, when he says all that. He's not always the best at telling when people are lying and when they aren't - even people he's as close to as Taako - but still, it has a ring of truth about it. Cisco knows, after all, that the reason Taako and Eddie hadn't worked out was because Eddie wanted to be with someone who didn't have a 'something more important'.

He is also sure that, after that breakup, Taako would've been careful to make sure any future romantic partners were cool with that. It would make sense, if he understood not being top priority, Rin might be in a similar position. Cisco doesn't know what Rin's 'something more important' might have been, but... he can accept the likelihood of its existence. ]

Okay. Okay, I get that.

[ Cisco swirls his drink, watching the vodka and ice cream and whipped cream all getting mixed together, a sugary boozy mess. He's not sure if he should leave it there, go back to his petty distractions. But Taako was the one who had brought the topic up, so he thinks maybe it will be alright if he keeps talking about it, a little, at least until his friend gives signals that he doesn't want to. ]

Still blows, though. I mean, even if you knew it was a possibility, or even, like, an inevitability. You had so little time.

[ Then again, maybe that would've only made the whole thing harder. ]

Yeah, its...

[He's sad, logically he knows that he's sad and that he has every reason to be, but right now it feels as if it's sort of outside himself, as if he's looking in on it. Compartmentalizing has always been a skill of his, there's no time for reflecting on feelings when the world is a little too dangerous, maybe this is just an extension of that.

The whole time he'd curled up with Lup there had been tears threatening, but that's not the case right now, he can talk about it without risking too much emotion.]

You know what I do regret, actually? Taking so fucking long to make a move. We'd been going on dates for months but I didn't think he was that into me. We could've had more time if I hadn't like, pulled a Barold.

[Which is to say: didn't do anything about his feelings for way too long]

[ Cisco nods as he listens, understanding the exact feeling of regret Taako's describing. Sure, the circumstances were different, but he'd been there. He'd felt that kind of regret when Ronnie had died, the second time, and Cisco realized he was gone for good, and he'd wasted so much time he could've spent with him. Or even when Eddie had sacrificed himself, and Cisco realized he'd never really gotten to know him properly. At least this place had made it possible to have a second chance, there.

And who knows. Maybe in the vast and unpredictable universe, Rin and Taako would cross paths again, get a second chance. Or maybe they wouldn't. ]

You were doing the best you knew how to do.

[ Cisco can't exactly in good conscience tell Taako to be more reckless, less cautious with people. That would just end in hurt, and he doubts it would be possible in the first place. But one bit of advice that he can give is: ]

Guess the take-away here is that you should never underestimate your own charm. And if you catch yourself doubting again, just say to yourself, "don't be Barry".

[ He bumps his shoulder into Taako's, a very small smile curling at the corner of his mouth. ]

'Don't be Barry' is the motto of my fucking life.

[That's unkind to Barry, but razzing on the dude is practically a past-time for Taako and it's how he shows that he cares. Although he also picks on people that he doesn't like, so sometimes it's hard to tell.]

Can't argue about my charm, though, that's an objective fact, ya know? I'm practically beating 'em off with a stick.

[He means that as much as he usually does, for all that it sucks that Rin left him, it isn't something that effects Taako's ego. He knows it doesn't have anything to do with whether or not he was good enough.]

Hey, mine too! For different reasons, natch.

[ Sorry, Barry Allen. Only not that sorry, because it is worth it to razz his friend a little, too, especially if it can make Taako smile, or distract him from how shitty he's feeling for a few moments.

It is reassuring, hearing Taako speak about himself fo confidently. Cisco knows that, were the positions reversed for the two of them, things would be very different. He had a nasty habit of blaming himself, of thinking of himself as undesirable. Even as his confidence has improved, in his time in this place, that possibility is still there. And even though he knows Taako is more self-assured than him, even the most stable people had to question their worth from time to time, right? ]

Hey you can always hit up Poe, right?

[ HE'S FULLY KIDDING, TAAKO. Sure, Taako had said Poe confessed to a certain degree of attraction, but he suspects the last thing his friend wants right now is more complications and emotional entanglements, and the second-last-thing is a meaningless rebound. ]

[It's good that Cisco is fully kidding because that's exactly how Taako responds to the comment, snorting a little as he laughs.]

Tempting as that suggestion is, and it is pretty tempting - [Poe is very handsome, if not necessarily the sort of dude he usually goes for.] - I think I'm gonna just be chill for a while, you know? I mean, I said that last time and this shit still happened cause Rin was super fucking charming and like, exactly my type, fuck.

[He was doomed from the start, honestly.]

But uh, I've got this thing with Kravitz, whatever it is, when I'm back in Fearun.

He was really charming.

[ Cisco does remember Taako saying that he was going to stay single for a while, after him and Eddie had split. But (and he doesn't think it's just his imagination), at least this time it seems to come less from a place of thinking he failed at a relationship. From the sound of it, Rin had left for reasons of his own, and Taako's not taking it as something he did wrong.

He has been hesitant to bring Kravitz up, for the most part, because he could tell that Taako wanted to avoid the subject. It must be weird, he knows. Knowing that that relationship is waiting for him when he returns to his world, but not yet having really lived through it. Not being anywhere where he can see or talk to the guy. ]

You do. And plenty of people to keep you company 'til then.

[ He clinks his glass against Taako's, smiling, eyes warm and fond. Cisco's not going to spout a bunch of stuff about dating not being the end-all be all, but he decides not to get into it. The fact is Taako has a lot of people around him who love him. His sister, his crewmates, and so many friends that he has made in this place. Rin leaving stings, Cisco's sure. But he isn't alone. ]

And so handsome.

[It's wistful (and true) but in a way that's leaning more towards light and joking than anything else; Taako isn't quite at the point where he's going to be able to properly make light of the situation, but he can at least ease up on the sadness pedal for a moment.]

I mean, I'm stuck with you, so I dunno if it's good company.

[Be nice.]

[ Cisco lays a hand against his chest and reels back, mouth open in an 'o' of dramatic offense. The truth is, he's far from being actually hurt. He knows, because he knows Taako, that if Taako didn't want him here, he wouldn't be here. It's as simple as that. So he sees the playful insult for what it is, and responds accordingly. ]

I, your dear friend, who has brought you offerings of ice cream and libations of the finest vodka, am going to generously pretend I did not hear that.

Edited 2018-02-23 23:26 (UTC)

[In a moment of genuine affection, Taako leans over to plant a kiss on Cisco's cheek. Maybe it's the fact he just lost someone he cares about, maybe it's the alcohol, but he just... wants to be honest for a second.]

Let's-- hey, let's blame the vodka for this one, but you're one of the best things about this place. You know that, right?

[ Cisco smiles wide, head ducking forward after Taako plants that kiss on his cheek, looking surprised and embarrassed and pleased all at once. He knows that heartfelt declarations of affection aren't really in Taako's nature, and he's happy to go without them. He knows Taako likes him, because he shows it in a dozen different ways. But it's still good, once every blue moon, to hear it, too. ]

Definitely the vodka's fault.

[ He reaches over and tips a little more of the alcohol into his glass, saying as he does: ]

And yeah, of course I know. I'm hot shit.

[ There's an airiness in the reply that goes against Cisco's surprised reaction just a moment before - obviously fake, that kind of jokey self-confidence that he'd so often used in place of actual self-esteem. But he doesn't just leave it there. Not when Taako had the guts to be honest, and straightforward. ]

I also know I wouldn't be half as cool if I'd never met you.

[ He doesn't mean anything as simple as fashion tips or dope adventures (though there had been some of both). What he means is the way he's changed, in the months they've known one another. He'd been not in the best place, when he came to Riverview. Isolated, distrusting, lonely, with a very low opinion of himself. And lately... it's been easier, not hating himself. A lot of that was down to Taako. ]

You're one of the best things about this place, too.

[ There's a momentary pang that comes from the knowledge that someday, he will be the one who is sad, when Taako is leaving. But Cisco quickly resolves that it won't matter as much; he'll figure out breaches by then. He's not going to let something as silly as the multiverse keep him from visiting his best bud. ]

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