franciscoramon | riverview ∆ ic inbox ∆ @ciscodelamancha

riverview ∆ ic inbox ∆ @ciscodelamancha

LEAVE A MESSAGE!
voice | video | text

Of course.

[ Cisco dismisses the question with a quick wave of his hand. He's worried, because of course he's worried, but he isn't about to derail things by acting like this is about him. It's about Rey, and the possibility that someone very dangerous might be spying on her mind even at this very moment. Just that thought sends another chill down his spine, which he pointedly ignores.

He understands, though, that Rey might not be able to jump right into explaining, so he sets down the bag of supplies, pulls out the whiskey, the lemon juice, the simple syrup, the little jar of bright red cherries. ]

Since when have you been into whiskey, girl?

[ Cisco twists the top off the bottle, starts preparing the drinks, eyes darting repeatedly up to Rey, his light tone of voice not enough to hide the obvious urgent concern in his expression. ]

[Rey's lips pursed into a thin line, not liking how easily Cisco dismissed the question. He was worried. Why did she bother asking? It was coming off of him in waves, just by looking at him. A stupid question, but one born out of formality and familiarity. She wants to apologize, but it dies when she saw the bottle and other ingredients he has. he got her more than what she needed, and she's reminded again why she cherishes her friendship with him.

He always went above for her.]

Since the ball. It was one way to deal with people looking at me. Also, the reason why I stumbled around with Ben afterwards. It was...liberating in a way.

[To let one's inhibitions let loose. To not give a care and simply be in the moment rather than think about what would come next, what the consequences would be if they kissed and slept in his bed.

Fuck, she didn't want to think about it.

She moved over to one of the cabinets, taking out two glasses for them, setting them down on the counter. Next came the ice cube tray with the frozen water in them.]

It was also the drink I had after...receiving those memories. Just a glass, that was it. Something else to focus on than...yeah. [Than what happened, their connection and now it flared up again. She didn't know what to think.]

Yeah.

[ Cisco echoes her, mixing up the drinks, dropping two of the cherries into each of the drinks, and handing one over to her. He's not one to judge. He'd been using alcohol to cope with his problems for a lot longer than her, and can't begrudge her a little when she's feeling self-conscious, or miserable. But he's glad, that this time, he's here. ]

Well, any time you want a whiskey buddy, just gimme a call, okay? I know how miserable it is, drinking on our own.

[ He rests his hip against the counter, looking at Rey, concern still obvious in his expression. He'd gotten on her case, at that ball, to cut loose, to let herself have fun. Not to put off her own happiness, for some uncertain future after the war was over and everyone was safe and settled. Had his words led her to seek out this guy who had betrayed and hurt her, afterwards? Was this all a little bit his fault?

He can't think like that, though. Now isn't the time for regret. It's time for an action plan. ]

So. How's this Force connection work, anyway? I mean, I know you told me about it happening on the island, but- I thought that Snoke was doing that? You don't think he could be here, could he? Or someone else, just as powerful?

It's not that miserable.

[She's sort of done it at one of the bars in Quarantine. She simply sat in the back of the bar at a table by herself, watching people, keeping her mind off of things. The alcohol provided a needed distraction, giving her a burn she could control--how much or how little of the stuff she wanted to drink to keep feeling its effects. She takes the offered drink, holding it in her hand rather drinking it right away.]

I'll try not to over do it....calling you that is.

[Because she doesn't want to be a burden. She doesn't want Cisco to take on her problems as his own. Nor does she want to seem clingy or anything. Rey is exhausted, emotionally worn out and trying to piece together what she should do next.]

On Ahch-To, it was Snoke, but he's dead--and Ben spun it around and said I did it. His General--Hux, he's here and I had a lovely [The sarcasm on the word is heavy] chat about that with him. I didn't correct him, made him think it was me.

[But hadn't she indirectly killed Snoke? Her plea with Ben to not follow through with those orders, pushing him to do something else, nearly begging for her life, it caused Ben to kill Snoke.

It's that line of thought that makes her take a long drink of the whiskey, enjoying the way it burned down her throat.]

He's not here--Snoke isn't here. I would've felt him. Hux would be cheering and Ben... [Would he be a wreck? Would he be relieved? It was so hard to read him now, and it was foolish of her to think she could even read him at all.] I don't even know.

[ Cisco shrugs, not quite believing her, but perhaps it is a cultural thing. Maybe he thought drinking alone was sad because he'd been raised to think of it that way. For her, there might not be those same associations. She was much more capable of enduring being alone than he was, anyway. So he merely says: ]

It always was, for me.

[ He doesn't want to bicker, to question her words, but he has to say something, can't let it slide when she says she won't overdo it. ]

Hey, come on. Listen to me right now. When it comes to me, there's no overdoing it. The Cisco Ramon friendship bar for overdoing it is in the stratosphere. Ain't no way you're gonna come close.

[ Cisco listens as she explains what had happened, making a mental note to keep an eye out for this Hux motherfucker. Enemies, enemies, everywhere. Where were they all coming from? He's going to have to talk with the people who work on researching the portal. ]

Is it possible he was lying? Trying to trick you, about what he knows, and what he's done?

[ After all... Ren had let Rey down before. It seemed the simplest solution, to believe that he's done so again. Her uncertainty about how Ren would react is a little worrying, but Cisco remembers some of the context. That Snoke had been the bad influence she was hoping Ren would do better without. He hadn't, because he was a loser, but he can see how there might be some tension between the various Dark forces here. ]

Have you heard of ways to block Force connections, before? When you were studying with Luke or... anything like that?

[Rey wanted to ask why it was sad to drink by one's self. Being alone was something she had to endure for a long time. Having a drink by herself wasn't sad to her. It was a way to be self reflective without being trapped in her own home. She ventured outside, went to an actual bar and people watched while nursing one drink. The question never leaves her lips, rather she focuses on Cisco's words.

There was no over doing it. She wouldn't be pestering him, as she felt like she was doing with texting him. If she needed him, she could reach out. He wouldn't see it as a bother. He wouldn't see it as a weakness. It fell in line with the promise she made to him--to not keep him out. To keep him in the loop and not put him at an arm's length away from her.]

I don't want to come close to over doing it.

[Which was why she picked and choose when she contacted him. She wasn't going to interrupt him in the middle of the night, or in the early hours of the morning.]

Hux didn't lie about that. He gleefully shoved it into my face, but I think he suspects it's not the whole truth. I get the impression he and Ben don't get along.

[Which was another reason for covering for Ben, for not throwing him under the bus. She was trying to protect him. Trying to keep him safe from someone who wanted to cut him down, but she shouldn't care. She shouldn't give a damn anymore, but there was still some part of her that did.]

The only ones who know the truth are you, me and Ben. I told Finn that Snoke was dead, but not by who. I haven't said anything about the bond. [She paused then, taking another sip of her drink to help steady her feelings.]

Now I need to. [In case they catch her talking to herself or they see Ben and couldn't harm him.]

I didn't know it was possible, and Luke didn't know about it either. Or at least, he didn't seem to. Ben...he's not here right now. It's.. [How could she explain it better to him?] We would be able to see each other, and only each other. Not who we're with or what's around us. You may see him--Luke did when our hands touched, but he was a Force user and you're not...

[ So, the bad guys were bickering amongst themselves. Cisco files that little bit of information away for the future. He could work with that. That little detail could be very very useful to him in the future. And now he's definitely sure that if he ever meets this Hux guy, he's probably just going to smack him on sight. He sounds insufferable.

When Rey says she's going to have to tell Finn about the Force bond, with that conviction in her voice, Cisco believes her that it's necessary. It's probably a good idea, anyway. He's already told Rey how he feels about her keeping so many secrets from her other friends. The truth always comes out, eventually. And Cisco doesn't want her or Finn ending up hurt. ]

Sounds like that's gonna be a hard conversation. Lemme know if you need backup for it, okay?

[ He doubts she'll want him there, want him involved, but it's worth offering. At least it'll show he realizes how hard this must be, the impossible situation that she has ended up in. ]

Kinda hate that I'm about to suggest this, but... I could try to build something to block him out. Just for emergencies. But I would need to take readings... you would have to initiate contact with him while I was measuring the energies around you, physiological responses, that sort of thing.

[ It would be a risk, and it would require Rey to talk to Ren, which isn't something Cisco is sure he wants to put her through. Even if it might mean keeping her safer. She deserves never to have to see or hear from him again. ]

I've built stuff that blocked minds from connecting, before. I doubt it would work long term, but I could probably come up with something temporary.

Edited 2018-03-06 02:19 (UTC)

I will. I don't know how I'm going to tell him...or Poe..

[Stars, how was she going to tell Poe? Normally, she wouldn't care about what people thought, but this was Poe. He was a dear friend, and she was still trying to mend things with him. He would...probably be upset? Or, would he try and use it against Ben? She wouldn't allow herself to be used in anyway, and if he even dared to breathe that notion into existence--no, no, she couldn't think like that. Poe was a good man, he wouldn't do anything like that.]

Or Leia...

[Maybe she should have backup. Maybe she should have Cisco around as a support system--but that could lead to more strained friendships. No, she would be fine. The last time she brought someone in for support that blew up in her face.

Cisco's suggestion weighs heavy on her shoulders. She knew where he was going for with this. The bond, it was unpredictable and...if both of them grew stronger, they could end up hurting each other. Unconsciously or not.]

I don't even know how to initiate it. It sort of just happens unexpectedly like... [Rey took a deep breath, explaining the somewhat embarrassing moment where the bond came to life and she saw Ben without his cowl or tunic. Just him in his high waist pants and...nothing else.]

It hasn't happened around any other time when we're fully clothed, but I don't know if I can initiate it. I don't know if I could keep him from seeing you.

[She could try....be willing to it, but she can't leave Ben in the dark. She wanted him to...she wasn't sure what, but she wasn't going to keep this secret from him.]

I could try, but I would want him to know it's to help figure out this bond. I don't want him to think it's some sort of experiment, or anything, or make him feel like I'm using him. That's the absolute last thing I want.

[..They just wouldn't say why they were testing the bond...just in case.]

[ Right now, Cisco thinks, what Rey needs isn't practical suggestions about how to explain the situation to Poe or Leia. What she needs is to believe in herself and have confidence that she'll get through it. That it won't be the end of the world even if she explains poorly. So Cisco smiles at her, small but warm, and says, with conviction: ]

You'll figure out what to say. I know you will.

[ He can tell, from Rey's hesitation, that the story she's about to tell about how the Force bond works is going to be embarrassing or awkward in some way. So he braces himself for it, and it's... a hell of a lot more tame than he'd been expecting. It does complicate matters, however. The gears in Cisco's head are turning, so he sticks to a brief: ]

Well, that's hella awkward.

[ Her concerns about the safety of testing that force bond are valid. If Ren were to see Cisco, he assumes that would be putting him in the crosshairs of a dangerous psycho. And if Ren realized they were conducting tests, that might antagonize him into violence. It's such a delicate thing to navigate... ]

I used to think my vibes happened unexpectedly. That there was no pattern to when they came to me. Then I realized... it was only ever when I was scared. My emotions were the key to it. Do you think maybe... it's the same way with this? That when you're feeling a particular way - lonely, or uncertain, or whatever, that opens up your mind?

[ He sighs, because he wants to fix this problem, now, as soon as possible. But sometimes, science just doesn't work that way. And he isn't going to let his impatience endanger Rey, or himself. ]

Maybe, before we start doing tests, you can try keeping a record. A journal of- of everything you're feeling and that's going on around you, when the connections happen.

[There's a faint smile from Rey, grateful that Cisco was here. His confidence in her helps with the stress she's feeling. She would need to explain...well, everything. But, there's a part of her that doesn't want to do it. She wanted to keep that little secret to herself, something special she had with Ben, before she found out it was all because of Snoke.

But now...it's back. Maybe there was a new player from their world that was here, more powerful than Snoke, who was toying with both of them. Or, maybe it was truly the will of the Force? So many possibilities to make one's head spin.]

It...was, and I even asked him to put his cowl on. I know what the male body looks like--I just.. [Shut up, Rey. Just shut up about that part and look away from Cisco and regain some sense of decorum.

What Cisco says makes sense, but thinking back to those moments where they were connected, it happened at different times. Rey can't say precisely what she was feeling, or what he was feeling...it seemed to happen at random times.]

I don't know. Everything about the bond was Snoke's doing. I don't know if he sensed when was a good moment to open that channel between our minds, or if there was an emotional connection. I know...there was the final time we spoke--when I was training with Luke, and I was in this little hut, feeling alone and Ben was suddenly there.

[So maybe when she felt loneliness that her mind opened up and reached out to Ben? A conscious or unconscious move, but...it could be something?

There's another nod of her head, taking two, three more sips of her whiskey to get a pleasant buzz going before her glass is empty.]

I can do that. I'll wait until the connection ends to write everything down. Maybe ask how he's feeling to see if it's something on his end too. If he's calling out to me, or vice-versa..

[But why call out to her? He didn't want anything to do with her, or at least...that's sort of how it felt like? She wasn't sure. When it came to Ben, she wasn't sure of how she felt or what direction to go.]

He doesn't want to be part of the First Order anymore. He said he's done with it. [Rey moved to grab the bottle from Cisco and poured herself a shot of it.] I don't know how true that is, or if it was said in the middle of us yelling to get me to shut up.

[ Cisco is just going to move on past the way Rey said 'I know what the male body looks like', because the fact that she even feels the need to say that is just a reminder of how innocent she really is. Is Cisco going to have to have a talk with her someday about safe sex and all sorts of stuff he's sure no one bothered to talk to her about before? Maybe he can delegate that to Eddie... ]

That's a good idea. The first step in figuring this out is making sure we can account for all the variables.

[ Perhaps applying scientific principles to something that is inherently mystical will prove fruitless, but he doesn't know what else to try. There's nothing he can do without more information. Maybe he will contact this Leia person, see if there is any more she might know about the Force...

His face grows grim when Rey mentions what Ren said about wanting to leave the First Order. Cisco reaches over, taking the now-empty glass from Rey's hands and setting it down, so he can hold them between his own. ]

Even if that were true... there's a huge difference between I don't want to work for this evil empire and I don't want to be a power-hungry scumbag. You gave him the choice of turning away from all of that once before, remember? And he chose the Dark side. Just because he says he wants something different doesn't mean he's stopped being evil. If he wants to do that, he's gotta show it through his actions, remember?

[If Cisco wanted to go over that talk, he could. Rey would just laugh it off and wonder who in their right mind would be the one she'd bang, or allow herself to get that close to. One name came to mind, but chances were that was never happening. Though, for his peace of mind--and maybe hers, she would look into it, just to protect herself. Stars, could she be a mother? To an actual child? No...she had a bigger responsibility to the Resistance and the galaxy.]

Mmm, the biggest one will be Ben. Assuming, I can get him to open up, talk or...I don't even know.

[Really, it was both tiring and frustrating that she couldn't talk to Ben like how she used to do. When things seemed so much more simpler between them, albeit still complicated. When both of them let their guard around one another, only to hurt each other. She knew she hurt him, Rey acknowledged that, but could he see how he cut her down too?

The brunette looked up at Cisco, noting the grim expression and stared blankly at him. ]

I know that. Of course, I know that. Actions speak louder than words and yes, there's a big difference, but it frustrating, Cisco. I have to guess, second guess and reevaluate every single damn word he says. Every move he makes and it's tiring. [She tries to take back her glass. Let her have another shot, please. The more she thinks about it, the more frustrated she feels.]

I also chose to go to the Dark Side for a pair of pretty eyes, but I came out on the other side of it. He didn't. He didn't walk away and I.... [A deep breath, she didn't need to go on about the feelings she kind of still has for him, or talk about the other feelings she has for other people.]

I just want to move forward, and figure this shit out.

I know.

[ Cisco lets Rey pull her hands away, doesn't stop her from taking the empty glass and filling it once more. The worst of his fears, at least, seem unjustified for the moment. She's not doubting herself, not letting herself be swayed by whatever campaign of manipulation this douche is cooking up at present. The danger is still there, he thinks, but for now, Rey is still angry. And that anger, while unpleasant, is probably useful. It'll keep her looking out for herself, protecting herself, on her guard. ]

And you will. We'll figure it out. I promise you that.

[ He doesn't know how, yet, but Cisco isn't one to just give up. He's not going to rest, while Rey is in danger, or while she has all this looming over her. He'll find a way to help, to simplify things. One way or another. ]

[Rey manages to pour herself some of the whiskey, not caring for the simply syrup or whatever else Cisco put in the last drink. She raised the glass up to her lips, taking another long sip, but not downing everything. The fear coming off of Cisco...it's palpable. After swallowing the whiskey and concentrating on the burn of it, she placed her glass down.

Her eyes were on the glass itself, as if all the answers to her problems were right there, waiting to be discovered.]

Are you afraid I'll turn into him?

[Or...go back to him? Try to work things out? There is a part of her that wants to. That small part that didn't want to let go of the one person who she thought understood her the most, but the greater part of her knows better. Ben chose the path he wanted to take. He chose to not walk away and chose...the wrong path, but she couldn't correct it.

He had to fix his own mistakes.

There wasn't a doubt in her mind that they would figure things out, but she wanted to know if he feared her.. If he feared she would turn into some creature like Ben, or fearful she would try to go back to him...or just afraid of her because of what she could do.]

[ He opens his mouth to deny it, immediately and categorically, but stops himself before he even makes a sound. Rey deserves the truth. Not just part of it. So he takes a beat, looking down at his drink, wanting to be honest and not to hurt her. It's a fine tightrope to walk. ]

....I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm a little afraid something might happen someday to make you consider the Dark Side again.

[ Cisco looks up at Rey, apologetic, face grave. He gnaws at his lower lip a moment before he explains: ]

Not 'cause of Ren. And not 'cause I think you're evil on the inside or weak or- whatever bad things you might be thinking. The only reason I worry about that is because I trust you. A lot. Which I know sounds like a contradiction, but. Trusting people... caring about them... letting them get close to me... makes me afraid of them, a little. It's not just you. It's everybody.

[ He looks back to the glass in his hands, tapping at it, swirling the liquid inside it. It wasn't easy, admitting just how broken he was. How he had just come to accept being afraid of people as an unavoidable side effect of any degree of intimacy and trust. Cisco knows it's messed up, but there was no changing it as far as he could see. Eobard had done quite the number on him. ]

But the thing I'm much more afraid of is that you'll get hurt. That he'll snap and attack you, or you'll get your hopes up and he'll disappoint you again.

[Part of Rey wonders if Cisco will brush off her question and simply reassure her that he wasn't afraid for her. Or maybe, he'll go into an in depth conversation to what the dangers she would face, and that is what makes him fearful for her. Not of her, but for her.

Two separate things, which had two completely different meanings. She was leaning more towards the first one. It would imply he trusted her or had faith that she would do the right thing, but his gaze goes downward and her heart sinks into her chest.

Cisco locks eyes with her and she can feel the Force wavering around him, twisting and turning with what he struggled to tell her. His uneasiness is something that's quite palpable to her and though he explains his position, it doesn't sting any less.

He's afraid that she could turn to the Dark Side. She's done it before. She gave in willingly, but she came out of it. But to Cisco, and to Luke, she already fell. There was too much of a chance she could do it again. Anger bubbled up inside of her, feeling as though she's been written off to one role--possibly the same way Ben had been, but he already showed his true colors, hadn't he?

In the same breath Cisco said he was afraid of what could happen for her, because he trusted her. A big contradiction, one she was trying to wrap her head around while trying to keep her feelings from showing on her face.]

I can appreciate the honesty. [Her words are distant, reigning back to the emotions rolling around in her being. She can't blame Cisco, she couldn't. This was who he was, but it still...hurt. Her eyes glance down at her drink, taking a deep breath.]

I've been disappointed before, it's nothing new to me. Getting hurt is nothing new to me. [He was honest, and she was trying to pay the same favor.] I get where you're coming from with this, but I can handle it. I don't have a choice in it but to handle it, and...make sure no one else gets hurt in the process.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

riverview ∆ ic inbox ∆ @ciscodelamancha

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject