[Eddie's eyes open when Cisco calls him out on being stubborn, and he turns his head a bit to look at Cisco while the younger man pulls his feet up onto the couch and leans against him. Instinctively, he shifts to take his weight, his arm tightening around Cisco's waist, listens while he passionately decries the things that being interesting and unique can be, and says that no one wants to date guys like that. Fall in love with them.
For a moment, he thinks...no one wants to fall in love with him either. But there's something about the things that Cisco says, after that, the things that are actually about Eddie. The fact he sings in the shower, the way he fidgets with his belt, and how those things can be appealing, those things that only someone who's lived with him, observed him in those little private moments would see.]
It's because I'm used to wearing a gun belt. [He speaks, his voice low and a little shaky, but he's looking at Cisco, swallowing hard.] They're heavy, so I'm always hiking them up, you know? I run or walk a lot, and they slide down. It just becomes a habit.
[After a moment, he licks his lips, and then rests his head against Cisco's shoulder for a moment. It's hard, but Cisco sounds so intent, so assured of what he's saying, so confident, so informed that it's hard not to at least believe that he believes what he's saying. And maybe that's just enough to get through this, to ride out this particular wave of pain and self-doubt.]
You're good. You know that, right?
[A soft sigh, and some of the tension in his throat eases, his eyes stop stinging, and he keeps his eyes open as he lets his head rest against Cisco's shoulder for a few moments longer.]
Thanks. For staying here, with me. You...want to watch a movie? I could use a distraction.
[ The response it's a cute habit pops immediately into Cisco's head, but now is not the time to say it. In fact... there is never going to be a good time to say it. Because of course, there was a tiny, awful little voice in the back of Cisco's head saying that Eddie was single now, that he and Taako are through with, and maybe...
But that sentence doesn't have an end, and he hates himself for even imagining its beginning. Cisco knows better. He isn't going to let anything ruin their friendship. Isn't planning on humiliating himself and breaking his own heart, for nothing. So he stays quiet, merely sighing and pressing his cheek against the crown of Eddie's head when Eddie calls him good. ]
I try.
[ Cisco is both glad, and just the faintest bit obscurely miserable, that Eddie leaves his head resting on his shoulder. When Eddie suggests his movie, Cisco is quick to fire back with a list of possible films. Distraction is his speciality.
They settle on something feel-good and non-romantic, which ends up having the words fast and also furious in the title. It's loud, and over the top, and absurd, and eventually, even coaxes a few tiny laughs from Eddie. And they don't discuss it, but Cisco stays tucked against Eddie's side through most of the movie, just anchoring him. Being there. ]
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For a moment, he thinks...no one wants to fall in love with him either. But there's something about the things that Cisco says, after that, the things that are actually about Eddie. The fact he sings in the shower, the way he fidgets with his belt, and how those things can be appealing, those things that only someone who's lived with him, observed him in those little private moments would see.]
It's because I'm used to wearing a gun belt. [He speaks, his voice low and a little shaky, but he's looking at Cisco, swallowing hard.] They're heavy, so I'm always hiking them up, you know? I run or walk a lot, and they slide down. It just becomes a habit.
[After a moment, he licks his lips, and then rests his head against Cisco's shoulder for a moment. It's hard, but Cisco sounds so intent, so assured of what he's saying, so confident, so informed that it's hard not to at least believe that he believes what he's saying. And maybe that's just enough to get through this, to ride out this particular wave of pain and self-doubt.]
You're good. You know that, right?
[A soft sigh, and some of the tension in his throat eases, his eyes stop stinging, and he keeps his eyes open as he lets his head rest against Cisco's shoulder for a few moments longer.]
Thanks. For staying here, with me. You...want to watch a movie? I could use a distraction.
no subject
But that sentence doesn't have an end, and he hates himself for even imagining its beginning. Cisco knows better. He isn't going to let anything ruin their friendship. Isn't planning on humiliating himself and breaking his own heart, for nothing. So he stays quiet, merely sighing and pressing his cheek against the crown of Eddie's head when Eddie calls him good. ]
I try.
[ Cisco is both glad, and just the faintest bit obscurely miserable, that Eddie leaves his head resting on his shoulder. When Eddie suggests his movie, Cisco is quick to fire back with a list of possible films. Distraction is his speciality.
They settle on something feel-good and non-romantic, which ends up having the words fast and also furious in the title. It's loud, and over the top, and absurd, and eventually, even coaxes a few tiny laughs from Eddie. And they don't discuss it, but Cisco stays tucked against Eddie's side through most of the movie, just anchoring him. Being there. ]