franciscoramon | riverview ∆ ic inbox ∆ @ciscodelamancha

oh, did she level up or whatever?
i'm still working on understanding the magic stuff i don't really get the levels thing
doesn't really make a difference to me which one of you does it
it's really awesome of you to offer tho srsly

[ Cisco is busy trying to make his way back to the lab quickly and misses the fact that there might have been a shift in tone there and that Taako didn't sass him back about any of the Rin stuff. ]

[Read the room, Cisco.

Or... don't, because there's not a whole lot to read when Taako doesn't even reply. He's made it to Cisco's lab, but he doesn't know how the fuck to put this mess into a stupid little text, so he doesn't even try.]

i guess it makes sense to subdivide things up into rankings
like belts in karate or whatever
maybe i ought to have been doing that for metahumans back home you know
category 5 or whatever.

[ He sends those texts separatly, spaced out over a few minutes. And there is no response.

The not texting back is definitely weird. For a minute or two he could buy that maybe Taako ran into somebody and started talking, or someone else texted him and he got distracted. But when it's been five minutes and absolutely nothing, that's worrying.

It doesn't cross Cisco's mind still that it might have been his mention of Lucretia that did it. Instead, he starts worrying that Taako had been drugged, that whatever it was was still in his system and he'd gotten lost or disoriented or confused. When he gets to his lab, he opens the door with a look of worry on his face, and immediately sighs when he sees Taako sitting there. ]

Oh, good.

[He already has his sleeve rolled up, ready to go on this whole blood thing because he suddenly wants to be literally anywhere but somewhere that he has to think about Lucretia. The texts are still unread, phone sitting in his pocket, and he doesn't really smile when Cisco shows up.]

Can we just get this over with?

[He's being a dick and he knows it, but he can't-- It feels like drowning, every time he thinks about Lucretia.]

[ Cisco had just opened his mouth, drawn in a breath to ask what had happened, and then tease a little bit more about Rin, find out some of the backstory there. But Taako speaks before he gets the chance to, and it stops Cisco's words right in his throat. One of the side-effects of the way that Taako so liberally uses pet names, not to mention the slight lilting affectation in the way he usually speaks, is that when those things are missing it's pretty damn easy to tell something is up.

Cisco nods, a little hurt but mostly worried. He pushes his hair back behind his ears, heading for a storage locker in the corner of his lab where he keeps the few medical supplies he has on hand. Inside are the necessary materials to take some blood samples. As Cisco is gathering them up, his brain searches back to when things had shifted. Perhaps it's selfish, to think this mood is anything to do with him. Maybe it's just hitting Taako now, that he'd woken up somewhere unfamiliar and maybe even unsafe, and this is a delayed reaction.

Or maybe not. ]

Sorry for the wait.

[ Cisco comes over to Taako, trying but failing to hide the worry on his face. He's always been terrible at keeping any sort of emotion from showing on the surface. He carefully feels for a vein, then swabs the inside of Taako's elbow with iodine. ]

How are you feeling, otherwise? Any other, um. Physical symptoms, besides the confusion?

[The worry is written all over Cisco's face and Taako doesn't know what to do about it. The thought of trying to explain feels like a sudden weight in his chest, even having a normal fucking conversation seems like it's too hard.

This was stupid, he should've just ignored the weirdness or gone to a regular doctor, not someone he considers a friend. Taako can't even look at him, as if the floor is suddenly super fascinating.]

Just that. I'm not sick or anything.

Okay. This'll be quick. I'll take a cheek swab as well in case it was something in the coffee.

[ He might not be a doctor, but he's taken enough blood samples while Caitlin had her hands full that he's decent at it. Cisco starts collecting the first sample. Cisco can tell that Taako's avoiding his gaze, which is pretty damn worrying, actually. If he's messed up enough that he's not cracking jokes, something is really, really wrong. Cisco's stomach twists with fear and he does his best not to speculate a million different horrible things that might have happened.

As he is switching vials to take the second sample, he says, simply: ]

I'm not gonna ask if you're alright, 'cause I'm not, like, an idiot. And I'm not gonna make you talk if you don't wanna.

[ Not that he could, even if he wanted to. But he figures it's worth saying that he's not going to try to force a conversation, here, even though he can still something is badly amiss. ]

But just consider this, I guess, a reminder that I got your back, Taako. Okay? No questions asked. Fucking ride or die.

[ He caps the second vial and pulls the needle free, wiping Taako's arm clean and popping a hello kitty bandaid over it. He picks up the swab, holds it up and waits for Taako to open his mouth. ]

[He's quiet throughout the process of the blood being drawn, and he's quiet while Cisco talks, trying not to get like, fucking emotional about it because that's the last thing he needs. There's a reason he immediately dismissed the thought of maybe coming to see Cisco, after... after Lucretia, and it's because of this, because Cisco seems to be real fucking good at getting him to open up and sometimes that's the opposite of what he wants.

It's the same reasons he's avoiding Lup.

Once the cheek swab is done, but still without looking at Cisco:]

Lucretia got one of those fucking canisters. She's... she's done it.

[Taken their memories. Ruined his life.

It's been done, and he doesn't know how to forgive her.]

[ The pieces click into place fairly quickly, the moment Taako says that. Cisco should have seen that it was him mentioning Lucretia that had brought this on, but he'd been too used to thinking that she and Taako were cool now. They lived together. Taako had defended her, to Cisco.

But of course, that sort of thing isn't set in stone. And if she had gotten a canister, reverted to a point in her timeline after she'd erased Taako's memories and sent him adrift into the world alone... yeah. He could see how that might cause this. ]

And it changed things.

[ It's not a question, the way Cisco says it. Even if Taako had been able to reconcile with a younger version of Lucretia, that doesn't mean he will be able to with one who had actually pulled that trigger. Cisco crosses his arms, the way he almost always does when he's upset, without even realizing it. ]

I'm guessing this is why you've been so MIA, huh? Damn, you really can't catch a break...

[ Magnus showing up without his memories, and now Lucretia becoming not a friend who would betray him, but one who already had... it's some pretty tough luck. ]

[I think I died sits uncomfortably in his thoughts, but he doesn't even want to start breaching that subject, not when he's already feeling raw about the whole thing with Lucretia. And he doesn't want to worry Cisco, since it's not as though there's anything that can be done about it.]

No shit, it's been all fucking downhill since my ass got dumped.

[Which isn't entirely true, it's been downhill since he remembered Lup, it's just that he feels like he really hasn't had a break since then.

But while his tone is still annoyed, it's less cold, more familiar; the way he gets when he's about five seconds away from an over the top rant.]

[ Cisco feels a momentary but intense stab of guilt, when Taako says that. He hasn't yet mentioned anything to Taako, about how things have begun to shift, between him and Eddie. From time to time, he'd thought about bringing it up and decided against it. He's justified that Taako doesn't want to hear about it, but it's not really a secret or anything.

Maybe he's just as bad as Lucretia, keeping information from Taako. Maybe he doesn't deserve even a tiny portion of the trust that Taako has given him...

But the last thing Taako needs at the moment is more bad news heaped on him, so Cisco swallows down his guilty conscience and resolves to deal with it soon. For now, he just wants to make sure his friend is going to be okay. ]

Did she... say anything to you?

[ He doesn't want to make a comparison again, between Lucretia and Eobard, after how it went the last time. But Cisco is thinking that his own conversation with Eobard, where Cisco tried to talk with him, tried to ask how he could do what he'd done, had only made him feel exponentially worse about everything. ]

Edited 2017-08-29 12:21 (UTC)

[That's a good call.]

I left pretty fucking quickly, it's not like there's anything to say.

[They already had an argument while the chalice fucked everything up, Taako already pulled the umbra staff on her back home and did his dramatic countdown and as far as he's concerned, there's nothing left for them to talk about. All of Lucretia's excuses and justifications don't, and might not ever, absolve her of what she did to him.]

No, guess not.

[ Cisco nods, mouth turned down in a sad sort of grimace. The truth is, there's probably still plenty left unsaid between then two of them, but words can only do so much. They aren't going to change what Lucretia had done, and what Taako had been through. Even if she were inclined to apologize - which for all Cisco knows, she might not be - that might only make things even worse. ]

You don't have to forgive her.

[ Cisco says the words carefully; he knows he is treading on some very thin eggshells, with all of this. He can't possibly understand what Taako's been through, or the full complexity of his relationship with Lucretia. But he can't just stand here and see his friend hurt and angry and not say something. ]

I know you probably already know that. It's not like you need... permission, or whatever. I don't even know if people where you're from spout the same bullshit about how important it is to always forgive or whatever, but... I'm just saying, you don't have to.

[ He takes one of the samples over to a rather daunting-looking machine, carefully piping out a couple drops of the blood onto a little slide before putting it in the machine and hitting a series of buttons. ]

[She apologized, when the chalice brought him face to face with the Director, and at the end of the day it hadn't really helped. Because it wasn't like she didn't know that her actions would hurt Taako, she knew and she did it anyway, she thought her stupid plan was more important than their friendship, than his pain, and that's what he's angry about.

He loved her, he probably would've died for her if it ever came down to it, and she still did this to him.]

I'm not-- fuck, I'm not trying to be a dick here, but you don't know what it's like to live and die with someone for a fucking century.

[He's trying not to just dismiss what Cisco is saying, but at the end of the day, it's such a complicated situation. What they have, all of them, it goes beyond family or friendship or love and he doesn't know if it can ever be about what he wants or even what he needs.

Just like Lup, Lucretia is part of his heart now, but that doesn't change the fact she ruined his life.]

You're right. I don't.

[ There isn't much to say here, either. A lot of the time, Cisco and Taako are able to bridge the gap in their different experiences, to find common ground or at the very least some sort of understanding or empathy. But there are other things where that just isn't possible, and this is one of them. Cisco can try his best to wrap his head and his heart around the situation, but in the end, there will always be a chasm he can't quite cross.

He stays by that machine, watching its progress rather than looking at Taako. Cisco doesn't speak for a little while, not wanting to rub salt in Taako's wounds, but not entirely sure how to avoid doing so. This isn't the first time he's tried to offer comfort, and only seemed to hurt Taako even more. Perhaps, when it comes to Lucretia, the best course of action is just to not say anything at all.

Cisco's thoughts on that matter are interrupted, however, and a little furrow forms between his brows. He leans in closer to the readout on the screen, reading and rereading quickly. He presses a few more buttons on the machine, quickly this time, and its whirring grows louder. ]

You've definitely got traces of something in your system that shouldn't be there. I don't know what it is, yet. Working on it...

[ Cisco wishes Caitlin were here to go over the results. She would recognize it right away, he's sure. But it's no use, wishing for that. He's pretty much just accepted by this point that his friends aren't ever going to turn up, here. He's going to have to befriend some new doctor. ]

Can I help?

[ He asks it plainly, but carefully - not how can he help, which presumes it is possible at all. ]

Edited 2017-08-30 12:50 (UTC)

[There isn't anything to say and that's the whole problem with this situation. If there was some advice or strategy or even just fucking talking through it, but at the end of the day either he forgives Lucretia or he doesn't, and it's a not a choice that he gets to make consciously. He can't just let go of all the pain she caused him, even if he wanted to, but maybe one day it'll fade enough that he can stand to be in the same room as her.

So really, Taako's grateful that Cisco doesn't try to say anything more, almost as grateful as he is for the fact that Cisco doesn't come over and try to hug him or anything. It's not that he doesn't need one, he's just not sure if he could keep his shit together during it. The last thing he needs is to do something ridiculous like start crying.

He barely cares about the results of the blood test except for that he should probably avoid anything like that again, lest he end up in a worse bed than Rin's, though maybe he can just keep his familiar around to look out for him, assuming whatever the hell got into his head won't effect his magic as well.]

Short of a fucking time machine, I don't think there's shit anyone can do.

Okay.

[ Cisco hates feeling like he is powerless, particularly when it's clear Taako is in pain. He might not be sobbing or ranting, but Cisco can see it now, in the way he's holding himself, the way he's speaking, all of it. But if there's nothing to be done, there's nothing to be done. The last thing Taako probably wants right now is some misguided effort to cheer him up, which he might see as a response to his pain and anger being obnoxious, and Cisco wanting him to be fun again, or something like that.

So he just focuses on what he can do, right now, which is find out results from Taako's blood sample. He switches to the cheek swab, placing it in another compartment of the machine and typing in some even more complex instructions. ]

I built a time machine once. Long story. But dicking with the past is some pretty dangerous shit.

[ He knows that Taako must know that; Cisco only speaks so that he can break the heavy silence filling the lab at the moment. Squinting at the readouts, he announces: ]

It definitely looks like it was something you ingested. Which is pretty worrying. Maybe avoid that coffee place you went to. And also gimme their name because I feel like I should do some follow-up on this. Make sure they aren't up to something.

Yeah, I know. Chalice.

[It's a little short, but it's the same way he was short before, not angry at Cisco, just incapable of actually toning his anger down despite the fact that Lucretia isn't even here. He's just tired and furious and so sick of all this bullshit, including the bullshit this place keeps throwing at them.

Including drugged coffee, apparently, but that isn't what Taako says, because something else is clicking.]

Wait. Fuck, that's why Loki was acting weird. It must be...

[The whole thing had totally slipped his mind in the wake of everything else; it's not quite the same as what happened with Rin, but maybe whatever this is effects people differently? Taako's an elf, after all, and Loki is a... well, a frost giant, apparently. It wouldn't surprise him if a drug interacted with their physiology strangely.]

Must be what? How was he acting?

[ Before Taako even has a chance to answer, Cisco raises up a hand to halt him for a moment, saying rather gravely: ]

And I'm not asking to be a gossip. This is for science. I need to know what this stuff's doing to people and how many have been affected and a bunch of other stuff, and the quickest way to do that is to start off with as much information as possible.

[ And after all, Cisco doesn't even know this Loki guy, so why would he be that invested in gossip about him, anyway? ]

[Despite Cisco's insistence about hearing the Rin gossip before things got weird and messy, that thought hadn't even crossed Taako's mind. He knows Cisco pretty well, and he knows that this is just about getting as much information as possible.]

Affectionate, I guess? [This, at least, is easier to talk about, and some of the tension leaves Taako's shoulders.] Kinda like he was drunk but booze doesn't effect him the way it does us mortal dipshits. He let me paint his nails, it was weird.

[ Cisco nods, rather solemnly considering they are discussing nail-painting. That new detail might have thrown him for a loop at one point, but there have been a few incidents in his time here that have seemed to increase people's affection for one another, or else made people who usually have very strict boundaries feel a bit looser about them. So what Taako says isn't all that surprising. ]

So it's possible this stuff causes drowsiness and confusion, but also drunkenness and or affectionateness for immortals. [ The two seem so unrelated, but there must be an explanation. Something he is missing. ] And whatever it is, clearly it's strong enough to affect someone with a pretty powerful metabolism, or at least, someone with a resistance to other drugs.

[ Alcohol is a drug, technically speaking. Cisco chews at his bottom lip, brain working hard even as he asks: ]

Anybody else been acting funny that you remember? Morseo than usual I mean.

[This really isn't Taako's area of expertise, but everything that Cisco's saying makes enough sense that he nods an agreement.]

I'll be real with you, haven't given a whole lot of shits about other people lately.

[Taako is self-centered at the best of times, but it's only been worse in the last couple days with everything, between Lucretia ad what he saw of his own future.]

[ Cisco just nods; he feels a brief surge of guilt that he hadn't realized, hadn't figured out that Taako's quietness and absence for the last little while was due to something being very wrong. What kind of a friend is he, if he doesn't keep an eye out for that sort of thing? He's going to have to do much better, in the future. And the best way to do that is to start now. The science is important, but it can wait for an hour or two. Cisco looks over at Taako, at the set of his shoulders and the look of tiredness, and only says: ]

Got it. I'll keep an ear to the ground, and if I find anything out, I'll let you know.

[ Cisco punches a few more buttons on the machine, setting it to keep running tests on the samples, and turns away from it. He sighs, hands coming to hook in his pockets, and asks: ]

How 'bout I whip us up some totally non-drugged coffee and sandwiches, and then I can show you this totally sweet new video game I found. There's a co op setting I've been meaning to try out for ages.

[ It's possible Taako will turn down the offer, that he'll want to be alone again. But it's the best option Cisco can think of - sustenance, caffeine, and company without the obligation to speak to one another or even really look at each other. He knows that, for him at least, playing video games could be like a kind of meditation; playing could calm him down, mute the horrible thought processes and worries and memories, if only for a little while. ]

[The first response that nearly makes itself known is a refusal. His instinct these days is to avoid people when something is wrong, not wanting to give any sign of having any kind of emotions, but it hasn't always been like that. He walked away from Lup, before, and it was a first.

He doesn't want to keep doing that. It's too easy to fall back into habits built while he was alone, and isolating himself doesn't help. If Cisco was asking to sit down and talk about shit, that'd be easier to walk away from, but saying yes to simple company and distraction isn't going to end the world.]

Promise not to kick my ass too badly?

[That's not a promise Cisco can keep, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that they're going to play a stupid video game and eat sandwiches and for at least a little while, Taako isn't going to think about Lucretia.]

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