well, if you start feeling unchill, hit me up if you can and i'll try, okay?
[ Of course, that's assuming Kevin will have the presence of mind to know what's happening, and reach out for help. ]
yeah honestly my powers are kind of majorly shitty. like not the worst i've ever heard of, because there was this woman who turned everything she touched into a bomb, but like, definitely top five shittiest.
i mean, one death's plenty. i wasn't trying to out-dead you. you're a ghost i think you win that one automatically, bro.
once was an explosion that took out the whole city. you mentioned terminator. it was like that scene from terminator 2, with the nukes. only more blue lightning and less fire.
[ Close enough to it, though, that seeing that scene in the film had made him vibe, or given him a flashback - it can be a little hard to tell the difference between the two, when his own death is involved. ]
the other time someone shoved his hand into my chest while vibrating it at super speed and tore my heart to shreds. more temple of doom than terminator.
[ Yes, it does make it easier to talk about dying by making light of it and making movie comparisons, thanks very much. ]
[ Kevin has no problem with using movies to explain things, and he can agree that it makes things easier to deal with. ]
Jesus. I was smited by an angel, so like my soul was burned out of me. High five for fucked up death stories, I guess?
Do you have no way of controlling when/how you see things? I'm not entirely sure how your powers work; it's been a while for me since we talked about it.
worst high five ever tbh. having your soul burned out of you sounds... not fun.
since it's been a while please don't get mad if i remind you i'm kinda trying to keep the powers thing on the dl. i can count the number of people who know about them on two hands and i'd like to keep it that way.
i'm not entirely sure how they work either. i'm getting better at triggering visions but i've been shit out of luck as far as coming up with a way to stop them when they happen on their own. mostly it's when i'm touching someone or something that belongs to someone. except for when the visions are about me. then they pretty much happen whenever. those ones are... kinda more like flashbacks than vibes. that or maybe i get flashbacks sometimes and then also vibe about myself sometimes and they're separate things and i just can't tell them apart. i've definitely had moments when i can't tell if i'm having a nightmare or vibing in my sleep.
[ He doesn't tell Kevin that his visions are triggered by fear. Not that he thinks Kevin would use that against him, necessarily. But he likes to keep that detail in particular under tight wraps. Even if the rest of it were to get out, it might not be the end of the world, as long as that one detail remains hidden. ]
yeah, of course. I'm not going to tell anyone. You have my word on that. Oh and I guess an update on my level of secrecy. I kind of don't care if people know I'm a prophet. I doubt it'll ever come up, but. That's not something that needs to be kept secret anymore.
Not being able to tell them apart when they're about you makes a lot of sense. It seems like to some extent you're seeing peoples' memories, so when they're your own memories, how can you tell that apart from a regular flavor flashback?
Do you get repeat ones? Like you keep vining the same thing? About yourself or other people?
...it's not just memories. sometimes i see where a person is and what they're doing, right at that moment. and sometimes i see things that haven't happened yet.
[ The question about repeats is actually an interesting one, and it's a bit of a surprise Kevin asks it. ]
usually there are no repeats. except when i vibe about the first time i died, but... i think that's not really anything to do with my powers. it just messed me up.
like... a flash sideways? and you can see the future? that definitely makes your power a little less shitty. you can't do anything about someone's traumatic backstory but you can definitely help change someone's future.
[ The reason Kevin thought of the question was that Cisco mentioned his nightmares, or vibing at night, and that got Kevin curious about how often he would vibe his own death because you know... Cisco's pretty much always in contact with himself. But then would Cisco ever re-vibe that memory off of Kevin? Or someone else? ]
at least you don't really have to worry about repeat vibes off other people. i'm sure once is enough. and yeah, i'm glad i don't sleep anymore. being able to remember your own death is pretty all around terrible.
sort of. to be honest, i've only done it a couple times, and it was always a fluke. maybe if i could control when i see what. at the moment it's just a crapshoot.
yeah. can't say i'm all that happy about it.
that's why i thought that, if you needed someone to talk to about dying, at least i kind of know where you're coming from. but if you don't want to, man, i get that.
to be honest I don't even know what to say. I got lucky I guess in that while I was a ghost I figured out how to communicate with other people out there stuck in the veil too, so at least I wasn't totally alone when I was trying to deal with everything. Aside from them though? No one's really asked how I felt about dying. Like. The guys I was staying with, it's not like they didn't care but they were way more focused on themselves. It's weird to even have someone ask how I feel about something and like...genuinely care.
Idk maybe that sounds too pathetic but it's almost made it harder here where people do care because it brings back up all those feelings. Which a therapist would probably say is a good thing, but it's hard. I'm sure you get that.
that's good that you had, like, ghost solidarity at least.
:/ yeah, i get that. i get that hard. it's totally weird having people give a shit about you when you're used to... not that.
look you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but i gotta ask... why would an angel want to kill you? i mean, i thought you were on their side, generally speaking?
so, i can tell you the whole long story if you want but to answer your question... for a prophet of the lord i didn't really spend a lot of time with angels? and my prophet powers are kind of crappy. all i can do is read these tablets written in a special language that no one else can read, angels included, but what's written on those tablets is all the rules of heaven, hell, and purgatory. that's why the king of hell wanted me -- to read that tablet for him.
and the angel who wrote the tablets, metatron, came back from wherever he was and decided he wanted to control heaven. and he knew that what was written on the tablets could help people fight him, so i was dangerous. he got the angel possessing my friend to smite me. like an hour after i told that guy's brother that i always wind up screwed whenever i help them do anything.
i guess in that case i was being a more traditional prophet in that i told my own future.
the ironic thing was that a few months before, the king of hell was literally choking me to death and metatron saved me. that was his big return from wherever. honestly if i had to die, i wish he would've just let crowley kill me because i was in the middle of a really badass moment. when i did die, i was just in the middle of eating a sandwich.
so it was less seeing the future or getting divine inspiration and more... like, just translating?
[ It's a lot more mundane than Cisco had thought it would be, considering the only vibe he'd had of Kevin had been pretty action-oriented and badass. Of course, it had still been enough to get him killed. But Cisco doesn't worry so much about making light of it, since that's what Kevin is doing, anyway. ]
i'd say it's doubly ironic - predicting things would go bad and then they did, and the guy who had you killed had saved you before. that's like dozen alanis morissette's worth of irony right there.
and i feel that, bro. if you have to bite the big one you want it to be something spectacular. like... this friend of mine. he died in a literal blaze of glory, closing a singularity that opened up over the city that would have killed everyone on the planet if it hadn't been for him. if you've gotta go, that's the way to do it. doing something that matters. saving people. not... just out of nowhere, because you're inconvenient to someone's evil plan.
[ Again, the details were different, but there's enough similarities there for Cisco to relate. There hadn't been any sandwiches in sight, but both his deaths had been... pretty pathetic, all things considered. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ Of course, that's assuming Kevin will have the presence of mind to know what's happening, and reach out for help. ]
yeah honestly my powers are kind of majorly shitty. like not the worst i've ever heard of, because there was this woman who turned everything she touched into a bomb, but like, definitely top five shittiest.
i mean, one death's plenty. i wasn't trying to out-dead you. you're a ghost i think you win that one automatically, bro.
once was an explosion that took out the whole city. you mentioned terminator. it was like that scene from terminator 2, with the nukes. only more blue lightning and less fire.
[ Close enough to it, though, that seeing that scene in the film had made him vibe, or given him a flashback - it can be a little hard to tell the difference between the two, when his own death is involved. ]
the other time someone shoved his hand into my chest while vibrating it at super speed and tore my heart to shreds. more temple of doom than terminator.
[ Yes, it does make it easier to talk about dying by making light of it and making movie comparisons, thanks very much. ]
no subject
Jesus. I was smited by an angel, so like my soul was burned out of me. High five for fucked up death stories, I guess?
Do you have no way of controlling when/how you see things? I'm not entirely sure how your powers work; it's been a while for me since we talked about it.
no subject
since it's been a while please don't get mad if i remind you i'm kinda trying to keep the powers thing on the dl. i can count the number of people who know about them on two hands and i'd like to keep it that way.
i'm not entirely sure how they work either. i'm getting better at triggering visions but i've been shit out of luck as far as coming up with a way to stop them when they happen on their own. mostly it's when i'm touching someone or something that belongs to someone. except for when the visions are about me. then they pretty much happen whenever. those ones are... kinda more like flashbacks than vibes. that or maybe i get flashbacks sometimes and then also vibe about myself sometimes and they're separate things and i just can't tell them apart. i've definitely had moments when i can't tell if i'm having a nightmare or vibing in my sleep.
[ He doesn't tell Kevin that his visions are triggered by fear. Not that he thinks Kevin would use that against him, necessarily. But he likes to keep that detail in particular under tight wraps. Even if the rest of it were to get out, it might not be the end of the world, as long as that one detail remains hidden. ]
no subject
Not being able to tell them apart when they're about you makes a lot of sense. It seems like to some extent you're seeing peoples' memories, so when they're your own memories, how can you tell that apart from a regular flavor flashback?
Do you get repeat ones? Like you keep vining the same thing? About yourself or other people?
no subject
...it's not just memories. sometimes i see where a person is and what they're doing, right at that moment. and sometimes i see things that haven't happened yet.
[ The question about repeats is actually an interesting one, and it's a bit of a surprise Kevin asks it. ]
usually there are no repeats. except when i vibe about the first time i died, but... i think that's not really anything to do with my powers. it just messed me up.
no subject
[ The reason Kevin thought of the question was that Cisco mentioned his nightmares, or vibing at night, and that got Kevin curious about how often he would vibe his own death because you know... Cisco's pretty much always in contact with himself. But then would Cisco ever re-vibe that memory off of Kevin? Or someone else? ]
at least you don't really have to worry about repeat vibes off other people. i'm sure once is enough. and yeah, i'm glad i don't sleep anymore. being able to remember your own death is pretty all around terrible.
no subject
yeah. can't say i'm all that happy about it.
that's why i thought that, if you needed someone to talk to about dying, at least i kind of know where you're coming from. but if you don't want to, man, i get that.
no subject
Idk maybe that sounds too pathetic but it's almost made it harder here where people do care because it brings back up all those feelings. Which a therapist would probably say is a good thing, but it's hard. I'm sure you get that.
no subject
:/ yeah, i get that. i get that hard. it's totally weird having people give a shit about you when you're used to... not that.
look you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but i gotta ask... why would an angel want to kill you? i mean, i thought you were on their side, generally speaking?
no subject
and the angel who wrote the tablets, metatron, came back from wherever he was and decided he wanted to control heaven. and he knew that what was written on the tablets could help people fight him, so i was dangerous. he got the angel possessing my friend to smite me. like an hour after i told that guy's brother that i always wind up screwed whenever i help them do anything.
i guess in that case i was being a more traditional prophet in that i told my own future.
the ironic thing was that a few months before, the king of hell was literally choking me to death and metatron saved me. that was his big return from wherever. honestly if i had to die, i wish he would've just let crowley kill me because i was in the middle of a really badass moment. when i did die, i was just in the middle of eating a sandwich.
no subject
[ It's a lot more mundane than Cisco had thought it would be, considering the only vibe he'd had of Kevin had been pretty action-oriented and badass. Of course, it had still been enough to get him killed. But Cisco doesn't worry so much about making light of it, since that's what Kevin is doing, anyway. ]
i'd say it's doubly ironic - predicting things would go bad and then they did, and the guy who had you killed had saved you before. that's like dozen alanis morissette's worth of irony right there.
and i feel that, bro. if you have to bite the big one you want it to be something spectacular. like... this friend of mine. he died in a literal blaze of glory, closing a singularity that opened up over the city that would have killed everyone on the planet if it hadn't been for him. if you've gotta go, that's the way to do it. doing something that matters. saving people. not... just out of nowhere, because you're inconvenient to someone's evil plan.
[ Again, the details were different, but there's enough similarities there for Cisco to relate. There hadn't been any sandwiches in sight, but both his deaths had been... pretty pathetic, all things considered. ]
still i guess you got those months.